亲爱的杰米，当我们在一起时 Dear Jamie, when we're together,
我觉得我们不是在上高中 I feel like we're not in high school,
而是在我们自己的二人世界中 but in our own little Chris-and-Jamie world.
无论我们是在看“五点派对”时 Whether we're watching "Party of Five"
还是在准备敬酒词时 or practicing our cheers,
我觉得我可以毫无伪装 I feel like I can just be myself.
杰米，我们做了很久的朋友了 Jamie, we've been friends for a really long time,
但我想要更进一步 but I want to be more than that.
噢！我可不这么想 Oops! I don't think so.
想要做你的男朋友 Hoping to be your boyfriend.
真诚的，克里斯·布兰德 Sincerely, Chris Brander.
永远是最好的朋友 BFF!
♪我发誓♪ ♪I swear♪
♪天上的月亮和星星♪ ♪By the moon and the stars in the skies♪
♪我会在那里，是的♪ ♪I'll be there, yeah♪
♪我发誓♪ ♪And I swear♪
♪像你身边的影子♪ ♪Like a shadow that's by your side♪
♪我会在那里♪ ♪I'll be there♪
♪无论好坏♪ ♪For better or worse--♪
如果你的兄弟是同性恋的请举手！ Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!
-出去！ -妈妈！ -Get out of my room! -Mom!
笨蛋！这里没人听说过隐私吗？！ Stupid! Anybody ever hear of privacy around here?!
你是同性恋 You're the homo.
杰米！ Jamie!
对，我写完了你的同学录 Yeah, I signed your yearbook.
哦，你也这么想我？ Oh, you feel the same way about me?
哦，你想要个吻吗？ Oh, you want a kiss?
杰米，我写完了你的同学录 Jamie, I signed your yearbook.
杰米，我打开了你家大门 Jamie, I'm opening your gate.
出什么事了，伙计们？ What's up, guys?
-95班 -呣-呣 -Class of '95 -Mm-mm.
嘿，怎么了，里昂，瑞夫？伟大的赛季，伟大 Hey, what's up, Leon, Trevor? Great season. Great.
我爱你 I love you.
-嘿 -克里斯·布兰德，女士们先生们！ -Hey, guys -Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen!
-毕业快乐，克里斯 -怎么回事？ -Happy graduation, Chris -What's going on?
我还以为只有我们四个 I thought it was supposed to be just the four of us.
帕拉米诺家想要给杰米 The Palaminos decided to throw Jamie
-一个惊喜的毕业晚会 -哦，这可真好！ -a surprise graduation party -Oh, that's just great!
-就是今晚 -她在哪里？ -Tonight's the night -Where is she?
我好像看见她和足球队的进了车库 I think I saw her go in the garage with the football team.
-很好 -嘿，别害怕，克里斯，啊？这是你的 -Sweet -Hey. No fear, Chris, huh? This is your
-跨越“朋友界限”的机会 -对 -chance to get out of the "friend zone." -Yeah.
-嗯？ -好 -Huh? -Okay.
♪.对于嘻哈，这是今天的嘻哈♪ ♪.for hip hop this is hip hop for today♪
♪我支持嘻哈，所以嘻哈万岁....♪ ♪I give props to hip hop, so hip hop hooray.♪
杰米 Jamie.
-克里斯！ -唉！ -Chris! -Yay!
你还是来了！我真高兴 You came, finally! I'm so happy.
哦，快点，快点！ Oh, come on, come on!
我的天，我们毕业了！ Oh my God, we graduated!
喔！ Whoo!
-天 -对 -God -Yeah.
怎么了？ What's up?
我有些话要对你说 There's something I've been meaning to say to you.
杰米！你在这 Jamie! There you are.
-嘿，提姆 -你闭嘴 -Hey, Tim -Shut up, chubs.
有意思！ Funny guy!
杰米 Jamie.
-你能给我写同学录吗，求你？ -能过一会儿吗，提姆？ -will you sign my yearbook, please? -Can I do it later, Tim?
能过一会儿吗？ Can I do you later?
我要杯啤酒！ I need a beer!
我真不敢相信 I can't believe.
-我和他出去了 -你和他出去了 -I went out with him -you went out with him.
倒霉！1-2-3-4-5-6-7，不许说话 Jinx! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7, can't say a thing till I say--
进来 Come in.
-嗨，嗨，杰米 -嗨，达斯丁 -Oh, hi. Hi, Jamie -Hey, Dusty.
我寄希望在这里找到你 I was hoping I'd find you here.
我还不知道你会弹吉他 I didn't know you played guitar.
我-我真-真的 I-I r-really--
-我真的想做一位著名的音乐家 -哈 -I really want to be a famous musician -Huh.
而且，嗯，我给你写了首歌 And, um, I wrote you a song.
他给我写了首歌！真可爱 He wrote me a song! That's so cute.
歌名叫做“杰米的微笑” It's called "Jamie Smiles."
啊 Aw.
♪When Jam--♪
等等 Hold on.
♪When Jamie--♪
他疯了 He's crazy.
♪When Jamie.♪
该死！行了，达斯丁！ God damn it! Come on, Dusty!
达斯丁，过来 Dusty, come here.
或许你应该换个时间再来 Maybe you should come back another time when you're--
-哦，不，我知道了 -你可以再来 -Oh, no, I got it -You can come back
然后弹给我们听，好吗？ and then play it for us later, okay?
-我真的 我明白了，歌很美 -对 -I really--I've got it. It's beautiful -Yeah.
-没错 -再见，达斯丁 -It is -Bye, Dusty.
天啊 Jesus.
对 Yeah.
哦，我差点忘了 Oh, I almost forgot.
我要给你个小礼物 I got you a little something right here.
好了，我知道有点笨笨的 Okay. Now I know it's a little dorky,
但我不得不这么做 but I had to do it.
来看看 So look at it.
你能穿上让我看看吗？ Will you put it on for me?
-现在？ -拜托，拜托了，穿上吧 -Now? -Please, please? Put it on.
-好，快点 -好吧，好吧 -Okay. Quickly -Okay okay okay okay.
-我觉得会合身 -对 -I think it's gonna fit -Yeah.
-来看看 -好 -Let's see -Okay.
-好了 -好 -Here we go -Okay.
有点小 It's a little snug.
我的天哪，不可爱吗？ Oh my God, isn't that so cute?
身边人来人往 "Shakes come and go,
但朋友是一生-一世！ but friends are furrr-ever!"
太棒了！给我妈妈看看去 That's adorable! Let's go show my mom.
她会喜欢的，我们去吧，快点 She'll love it. Let's go show her. Come on.
-别，不要，行了 -克里斯，她会喜欢的！ -Let's not. No no. Come on -Chris, she's gonna love it!
等 等等 Just--just wait.
-只要 我们很忙！ -克里斯，你没事吧？ -Just--we're busy! -Chris, are you okay?
对，我没事，我只是 Yes, I'm fine. I just--
我写完你的同学录了 I signed your yearbook.
嗯 Um.
读出来 拜托 read it. please.
好 Okay.
求你，上帝 Please, God.
“性感的男子，在你的车里激情燃烧！” "Stud muffin, getting it on in your love truck was hot!"
-哦！ -等等！这不是我写的！ -Oh! -Wait! That's not what I wrote!
这是提姆的同学录 This is Tim's yearbook.
-克里斯？ -我的天哪！ -Chris? -Oh my God!
听听这个，听听这个 Listen to this. Listen to this.
“当我们在一起时，我觉得” "When we're together, I feel".
-还给我！ -我们不是在上高中，而是 -Gimme! -"like we're not in high school, but we're
-在我们自己的二人世界中 -提姆 行了 -in our own Chris-and-Jamie little world." -Tim--okay.
好 Okay.
-“你是我最好的朋友” -求你别读了 -"You're my best friend." -Please, don't read that.
“但我想要更进一步”？ "but I want to be more than that"?
哦！ Ooh!
想要做你的男朋友 "Hoping to be your boyfriend.
真诚的，克里斯·布兰德，BFF Sincerely, Chris Brander, BFF."
这是个玩笑！我和杰米之间的玩笑！ It's a joke! That's a joke between me and Jamie!
胡说八道！看看他的衣服！ Holy shit! Check out his shirt!
啊，他要哭了 Aw, he's gonna cry.
再见！ See ya!
再见了，肥佬！ G'bye, fatty!
克里斯！ Chris!
吃沙拉吧！ Try a salad!
-克里斯！ -别理我！ -Chris! -Leave me alone!
别担心，谁都会出这种事 Don't worry about it. It happens to everybody.
克里斯！我们得谈谈你写的东西 Chris! We need to talk about what you wrote.
这是你的真实感受？ Is that really how you feel?
我不知道，或许，怎么了？ I don't know. Maybe. Why?
因为这是别人给我写得最贴心的话 Because that's the nicest thing anyone's ever written me.
是吗？ It was?
是的 Yes.
我爱你，克里斯 I love you, Chris.
-像哥哥一般 -嗯？ -like a brother -Hmm?
-我们是朋友，对吧？ -当然！ -We're friends, right? -For sure!
啊，恶心！ Ah, you pussy!
闭嘴，提姆！ Shut up, Tim!
你们这些人没别的事可做了吗？！ Don't you people have anything better to do?!
天哪！别理他！ God! Just leave him alone!
你们这群讨厌鬼！ You jerks!
-我会证明给你看！ -哦！ -I'll show you! -Ooh!
我会证明给你们大家！ I'll show all of you!
这个小镇全是废物 This town is full of losers
而我要成功！ and I'm pulling out to win!
克里斯！克里斯，回来！ Chris! Chris, come back!
-我叫克里斯·布兰德！ -克里斯，我们谈谈！ -My name is Chris Brander! -Chris, let's talk!
你要记得那个名字！因为我会成为名人的！ You remember that name! 'Cause I'm gonna be somebody!
我不知道该说什么 I don't know what to say.
我是说，做爱很美好 I mean, the sex is good,
但我也是个人 but I'm a person too.
我是说，我有感觉有需要 I mean, I have feelings and needs
不仅仅是生理上的！ other than just physical!
你没有什么好说的吗？ Don't you have anything to say for yourself?
我想你已经说得够多了 I think you've pretty much said it all.
你知道吗？这不管用 You know what? This just isn't working out.
好好生活吧，因为雅典娜不玩了！ Have a great life, 'cause Athena's out!
我不知道为什么你不把我当回事！ I don't know why you just don't take me serious!
喔！ Wow!
我猜雅典娜不玩了 I guess Athena's out.
天哪，你能相信吗？ God, can you believe that?
我在圣诞节前四天被甩了 I get dumped four days before Christmas.
-我看见了 -对，而且，你袖手旁观 -I saw -Yeah, and yet, you did nothing.
事实上，这让你成为帮凶 Technically, that makes you an accomplice.
也是有罪的 Guilty as charged.
你知道吗，在有些文化里他们会因这个打你屁股 You know, in some cultures they'd spank you for that.
哦，我爱旅行 Oh, I love to travel.
-克里斯·布兰德 -我是曼蒂 -Chris Brander -I'm Mandy.
当然你是，我知道一首歌就叫“曼蒂” Of course you are. You know, I know a song called "Mandy."
哦！ Oh!
他出手就得分 He shoots, he scores.
-很好，很好！ -对，布兰德！干得好，布兰德！ -Nice, nice! -Yeah, Brander! Great job, Brander!
你是个坏家伙，不，不，是你 You're the bad bunny. No. No, that's you.
你是个坏家伙，对 You're the bad bunny. Yeah.
好了，够了 Okay, that's enough out of you.
下次给我打电话让我来付费 Next time you call me, you call me collect.
好了，拜拜 Okay. Bye-bye.
-昨晚怎么样？ -10点钟回家 -So how'd it go last night? -Home by 10:00.
一分钟后在电脑前脱了裤子 Pants off in front of the computer by 10:01.
很好，那席拉呢？你有什么进展？ Nice. What about Sheila? Are you making any headway?
我今天请她吃午饭 We'll see. I'm taking her to lunch today--
哦，哇噢，哇噢，别 别这么做 Oh, whoa, whoa whoa. Don't--don't do that.
-好吗？别吃午饭 -为什么？ -Okay? Don't do lunch -Why?
这如同进入朋友界限的快速通道 That's like the express lane to the friend zone.
到底什么是朋友界限？ What the hell's the friend zone?
当女孩子认定你是她的朋友 See when a girl decides that you're her friend,
你就不再是约会的选择对象了 you're no longer a dating option.
你在她眼中就成为了完全无性别的个体 You become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes,
像是她的哥哥或者一盏灯 like her brother. Or a lamp.
我不想做一盏灯 I don't want to be a lamp.
对，那么，就别做她的朋友，好吗？ Yeah. Well, then don't be her friend, okay?
哦，拿那个家伙作例子 Oh. Take that guy, for example.
-你是说那一对？ -不不不 -You mean that couple? -No no no.
不，我是说那个家伙倒是他们是一对 No, I mean the guy that wishes they were a couple.
-你什么意思？ -我的意思是 -What is your point? -My point is.
给席拉打电话，雷，现在就打 call Sheila, Ray. Call her right now.
把约会挪到今晚 Move your day date to tonight.
要若即若离，不管你怎么做，最后要吻她 Play the entire thing aloof and no matter what you do, kiss her at the end.
-因为朋友是不亲吻的 -好的，若即若离 -'Cause friends don't kiss -All right. "Aloof."
嗨 Hi.
-留言信箱 -哎哟 -Straight to voicemail -Ouch.
希望你还不算迟，你可能已经是她的女朋友了 Hope you're not too late. You may already be girlfriends.
-真的？我怎么知道？ -听着，没关系，好吗？ -Really? How will I know? -Look. It doesn't matter, okay?
如果你觉得你陷进去了就要抽身 If you feel yourself going there, walk away.
你怎么知道这些的？ Where'd you come up with this theory?
我在高中时代的教训 Some chick f'd me up in high school bad.
请原谅，请原谅 Excuse me. Excuse me.
原谅你！ Excuse you!
我看见你对我卖弄风情 I saw you flirting with me out there.
你怎么能这样对你的男朋友？ How could you do that to your boyfriend?
谁，他？我们只是普通朋友 Who, him? We're just friends.
哦，不不不，我从没说过，林希，我不会这么做 Oh, no no no, I never said that, Lindsay. I wouldn't do that.
不，我正驾车通过隧道 No, I'm driving through a tunnel.
好，马上就好，嘿，弗兰西，你看上去不错 Okay. One second here. Hey, Francine, you look great.
-谢谢 -那个颜色很显你的腿 -Thanks -That color really brings out your legs.
嘿，我甚至不认识你，对，吼-吼-吼 Hey, I don't even know you. Yeah. Ho-ho-ho.
那很好，圣诞快乐 That's great. Merry Christmas.
我还是能看见，我还是能 使劲擦！ I can still see it. I can still--rub harder!
别这么轻！使劲 Don't dab at it! Rub it.
使劲，使劲，使劲！ Rub, rub it, rub it!
听着，事实上，那裤子更显我胖了？ Look, honestly, these pants make me look fat?
-嗯 -你被解雇了！ -Well -You're fired!
-什么？ -我开玩笑的 -What? -I'm kidding.
吼-吼-吼！谁得到了圣诞礼物？ Ho-ho-ho! Who's got a Christmas present?
我 I do.
你好吗，老板？圣诞快乐 How you doing, boss? Merry Christmas.
-我穿这裤子显胖吗？ -当然不 -I look fat in these pants? -Hell no.
太好了！你要回家 Excellent! So you're seeing your family
-过圣诞假期 -嗯，事实上 -for the holidays -Well, as a matter of fact--
-等等，你要什么？ -不 -Wait. You want anything? -No.
走！等等 Go! Wait.
-家人 -父母离婚了 -Family -Parents are separated.
-我觉得这不是好时候，所以 -太棒了 -Jersey's not my idea of a good time, so -Fabulous.
-看看 -对，很好，好 -Check this out -Yeah. Great. Good.
今晚，你将在杂志上看到她的身影 First up tonight, you've seen her in the pages of magazines,
而且几乎是一切 and well, the opening of practically anything,
但是你可能不知道 but what what you may not know about this "it" girl.
她慈善的一面 is her humanitarian side.
嘿，大家好，我是萨曼沙·杰姆斯 Hey, everyone. I'm Samantha James
我和克拉克，克拉克先生在这里 and I'm here with Mr.Cluck Cluck
还有我的新朋友瓦甫吉 and my new best friend Wafoofi
我们是一项慈善活动中的一份子 and we're part of a kick-ass humanitarian effort
在第三世界国家帮助宣传素食主义 to help promote vegetarianism in third world countries,
那是十分十分重要的 which is really really important.
好了，说到非常非常重要的 Okay, and speaking of really really important.
我有好消息 I have some good news.
我正在录制新专辑 I've been recording for my new album
我希望能够早点发 which I hope to have out early next--
-我要那专辑 -啊！什么？！ -I want that album -Hah! What?!
-萨曼沙·杰姆斯？ -对 -Samantha James? -Yeah.
不不不不，现在认真听我说 No no no no. Listen to me very carefully now.
萨曼沙·杰姆斯是个疯子 Samantha James is a crazy person.
嘿，你以前钓过她，可不是我 Hey, you're the one that used to diddle her, not me.
只有一次约会！而我最后却进了医院 It was one date! And I ended up in the hospital.
你没看这海报吗？啊？你没看 Have you seen this poster? Huh? Have you seen.
-这海报吗？ -对，还有水果 -this poster? -Yeah, with the fruit.
这是美国最热卖的海报 This is the hottest-selling poster in the United States.
大家喜欢她，他们爱她！ People love her. They love her!
哦，谁喜欢她？ Oh, who loves her?
音乐台明年有一档她的真人秀节目 MTV just got her a new reality show next year.
我们安排好CD发行的时间与节目同步，我们肯定赚翻了 We time the CD release with the show, we got a guaranteed hit
还有免费宣传 plus free promotion.
-她的录音棚在-我知道她在哪里录音 -She's recording over---I know where she's recording.
好，太好了，让我满意 Good. Good. Make me happy.
去吧，等会儿，不是你 Go away. Wait. Not you.
等等！ Wait!
如果你不能让我满意，我会找别人来 You don't make me happy, I'm gonna find somebody else to make me happy.
我明白了，清清楚楚 Loud and clear. Yeah. Clear as a bell.
-很好 -好的 -Good -Okay.
你还在这干什么？ What are you still doing here?
去！去抓住我的大鱼！ Go! Go get me lobster!
去！快！大鱼！ Go! Run! Lobster!
快点！快！老爸要大鱼！ Run away! Run! Daddy want a fish!
♪呃呃呃呃♪ ♪Uh, uh, uh♪
♪Yeah, uh uh, eins zwei drei vier!♪ ♪Yeah, uh uh, eins zwei drei vier!♪
♪我们可能是天壤之别♪ ♪We might be a world apart♪
♪天壤之别♪ ♪World apart♪
♪但你一直在我心里♪ ♪But you're always in my heart♪
♪一直在我的心中♪ ♪Always in my heart♪
-♪当你仰望星空♪ -♪仰望星空♪ -♪When you look up at the stars♪ -♪Look up at the stars♪
-♪从远处感受我的爱♪ -♪远方♪ -♪Feel my love from afar♪ -♪Afar afar♪
-♪像闪亮的星星一样俯视♪ -♪闪亮的星星♪ -♪Looking down like a shining star♪ -♪Shining star♪
-♪用我的吉他自由跳舞♪ -♪我的吉他♪ -♪Dancing free with my guitar♪ -♪My guitar♪
-♪我不知道你在哪里♪ -♪你在哪里？♪ -♪I don't know just where you are♪ -♪Where are you?♪
♪远方的爱，远方的爱♪ ♪Love from afar, love from afar♪
♪感受我的爱♪ ♪Feel my love.♪
卡！卡！ Cut! cut!
好了，罗恩，谁改了我的调子？ Okay, Ron, which jokester changed the key on me?
没人改，萨曼沙 No one, Samantha.
43次录音都是这个调 It's been the same key for the last 43 takes.
嗯，那就是有点不对劲，因为我就是感觉不到，好吗？ Well, something's off then, because I'm just not feeling it, okay?
天哪，我要我的吉他 God, I need my guitar.
-我们得分别做音轨 -不！ -We need to mix the tracks separately -No!
我的歌叫“和我的吉他一起跳舞”，罗恩 My lyrics say "dancing free with my guitar," Ron.
所以，我要更真实，好吗？ So, I'm gonna be real, okay?
我不要你和上面坐的的那个香港佬 I'm not gonna let you and Hong Kong Phooey up there
把我变成什么泡泡糖舞曲偶像 turn me into some poppy bubblegum wannabe.
好吗？我需要更棒！ Okay? I need to transcend!
你们有没有听我说？ Are you guys even listening to me?
♪你们是混蛋，你们是混蛋♪ ♪You guys are assholes, you're assholes.♪
关掉 -罗恩 你是混蛋 -Switch it off, guys -♪Ron, you're an asshole♪
♪你们是混蛋，你们是混蛋♪ ♪You guys are assholes, You're assholes.♪
她是你的了 She's all yours.
克里斯！ Chris!
嘿！ Hey!
我听不见你说话，萨曼沙，我听不见你说话，萨曼沙 I can't hear you, Samantha. I can't hear you, Samantha.
-听不见 -哦 -Can't hear you -Oh.
哦，电灯泡，来了 Oh, light bulb. There you go.
我的天哪，我不相信！ Oh my God, I don't believe it!
天哪，我真想你 God, I've missed you.
哦 好了 Oh--okay.
等等，你到这里是因为你想我 Wait a minute. Are you here because you miss me,
还是仅仅因为你的老板要签我？ or are you just here because your boss wants to sign me?
都有？ Both?
很好，因为我也想你 That's cool. Guess I missed you too.
天哪，我要把你舔掉一层皮！ God, I want to lick your skin off!
-最好不要 -但我想 -I prefer you didn't -But I want to.
别 Don't.
哦！ Ow!
噢，你会喜欢的，你会喜欢的，宝贝 Ooh, you're gonna get it. You're gonna get it, baby.
-我不想要 -坏猫猫，喵喵 -I don't want it -Bad kitty. Meow, meow.
-好了 -哦！你准备怎么 -Okay -Oh! Listen, what're you doing
-过节？ -我要去圣巴巴拉 -over the holidays? -I'm going to Santa Barbara--
因为巴黎要举行一场圣诞狂欢 'Cause Paris is throwing a Christmas bash in Paris.
好了，巴黎可不行 Okay, Paris isn't gonna work for--
我要打给我的助手，我们今晚就走 I'm gonna call my assistant and we're gonna go tonight.
我们又能玩又能工作，喵 We can work and play. Mreow.
哦我的天！我刚写了一首新歌，你一定要听！ Oh my God! I just wrote a new song. You have to hear it!
这首歌叫“宽恕” This one's called "Forgiveness."
咳 Ahem.
♪原谅我♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
♪不仅仅是说对不起♪ ♪Is more than saying sorry♪
♪宽恕是神圣的♪ ♪To forgive is divine♪
♪那么让我们来一杯红酒吧♪ ♪So let's have a glass of wine♪
♪和化妆做爱♪ ♪And have makeup sex♪
♪直到♪结束 ♪Until the end of♪
♪时间时间时间时间♪ ♪Time time time time♪
♪时间♪ ♪Time♪
♪时间。♪ ♪Time.♪
你觉得如何？ So what did you you think?
啊！ Ah!
我的意思是，我的天！ I mean, my God!
哦，我的天哪，你真好 Oh my God, you're sweet.
-那是什么？ -这是泰瑟枪(发射一束带电镖箭使人暂时不能动弹的一种武器) -What is that? -This is a taser gun.
我的公关给我的，用以避开跟踪我的人 My publicist gave it to me to ward off stalkers.
邦！哈哈哈！ Bam! Ha ha ha!
噢，吞拿鱼 Ooh, ahi tuna.
-你来点吗？很好吃的 -我不要 -You want some? Yummy yummy -I'll pass.
吞拿！ Ahi!
我们高兴我们又在一起了 Oh, I'm so glad KC got us back together.
对，你真棒 Yeah, you're awful.
嘿，我有个好主意 Hey, I have a great idea.
如果我们去巴黎的路上中途在爱尔兰停一下 What if on our way to Paris we stop off in Ireland
看看U2乐队住在哪里？ and find out where U2 lives?
不然找个像博诺的人重唱？ What if we got someone like Bono to sing backup?
我唱 I'd be all. ♪Forgiveness is the way,♪
然后他唱，以他的唱法 and he'd go, ♪Forgiveness every day♪ only all Bono-y.
这不好吗？ Wouldn't that be amazing?
啊！我再多加点颤音如何？ Ah! What if I added more vibrato?
♪原谅我♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
♪不仅仅是说对不起♪ ♪Is more than sayin' sorry♪
♪宽恕是神圣的♪ ♪To forgive is divine♪
♪那么让我们来一杯——♪ ♪So let's have a glass of--♪
好了，这个天才是谁？ Okay. Who's the genius behind this?
那个容器写着“微波” The container said "microwavable."
但是铝箔不行 But the aluminum foil wasn't.
我不应该操心材质问题 Well, I'm not supposed to worry about stuff like that.
我是天才 I'm the talent.
爸爸，我们落地了 Daddy, we're down.
外面不是很暖和的，是吧？ Not exactly warm out here, is it?
-还要多久我们才能重新开始飞行？ -很好的飞机！ -How long till we're airborne again? -Nice plane!
-最早明天 -啊，真行，我们在哪？ -Not till tomorrow -Ah, terrific. Where are we?
不高兴！ Not happy!
我们在离特伦顿一小时路程的私人领地 We're on a private field an hour outside of Trenton.
新泽西？我们在新泽西？ Jersey? We're in New Jersey?
嘿，等等，我是不是被恶整了？ Hey, wait a minute. Am I being Punk'd?
埃斯顿在哪里？哈！ Where's Ashton? Ha!
埃斯顿！ Ashton!
哦我的天！哈哈 Oh my God! Ha ha.
你骗到我了！ You totally got me!
埃斯顿？ Ashton?
我喜欢你带我回家见你妈妈 I love it that you're taking me home to meet your mom.
这是不是你打的小聪明？ Was this one of your clever little plans?
对，我算计着让你烧了飞机 Yes. I planned you setting the plane on fire.
惊喜吧！ Surprise!
哦！ Ow!
哦，我的小男孩 Oh, my little boy.
马上就好 Be right down.
♪La da da, da da♪
♪La da da da♪
♪La da da, da da♪
♪La da da da♪
♪La da da, da da♪
♪Da da da da.♪
我不记得新泽西有这么冷 I do not remember Jersey being this cold.
嗯，这个月冷得有点不寻常 Well, it's been uncommonly cold this month.
我们已经用光了七包崖盐 We've gone through seven bags of rock salt.
你的房子真是古雅，布兰德太太 Your house is just so quaint, Mrs. Brander,
我是说，克里斯，你从没有告诉我你是如此节省 I mean, Chris, you never told me you were so provincial.
就像个真实的从贫穷到富有的故事 It's like a true rags to riches story,
但我总是觉得中产阶级更好一些 but I've always found the middle class to be just so much more real.
我是说，克里斯多棒啊？ I mean, isn't Chris great?
对，他是个好孩子 Yeah, he is a nice boy.
你知道他总是让我们飞去洛杉矶 You know, he usually flies us out to Los Angeles.
有，嗯 It's been, uh.
哦，九，十 oh, nine, 10--
-已经十年了，对 -十年？ -It's 10 years. Yeah -10?
他有十年没有回过家了 10 years since he's been home.
-好了，干得好，道吉 -哦，嗨，亲爱的！ -All right. Good job, Dougie -Oh, hi, honey!
哦我的天 Oh my God.
-麦克 -哦我的天！ -Mikey -Oh my God!
-那是我的圣诞节礼物？ -萨曼沙，我的小弟弟麦克 -Is that my Christmas present? -Sam, my younger brother Mike.
-萨曼沙·杰姆斯 -萨曼沙·杰姆斯 -Samantha James -Samantha James.
麦克·布兰德，是我的荣幸 Mike Brander. It is an honor.
我的墙上贴着你的海报 I have your poster on my wall,
-你本人看上去更辣 -我知道！ -but you are way hotter in person -I know!
-你的墙上贴着她的海报？ -对 -You have her poster on your wall? -Yeah.
我一小时前才在她海报面前打手枪 I slapped the ham to it like an hour ago.
你打什么？ What ham did you slap?
不是我刚买的火腿吧？ Not the ham that I just bought?
哦，布兰德太太，除了火腿你还有什么？ Oh, Mrs. Brander, do you have anything else besides ham?
因为我在减肥 Because I'm on the Perricone diet
我需要鲑鱼 and I need salmon like now.
我喜欢肉粉色，卧室最漂亮的颜色 I love salmon. It's the prettiest color for bedrooms.
-很放松 -我要喝点什么 -So relaxing -I'm gonna start drinking.
嗯，有人要来点吗？咖啡？ Um, does anybody want anything? Some coffee?
或者鲑鱼什么的？ Maybe some salmon or something?
只要 Just gonna--
对 yeah.
麦克！回家真好 Mike! Good to be home.
噢，天哪，好吧 Oh, boy. Okay.
对，我知道，很兴奋 Hi. Yes, I know, very exciting.
嗨，嗨 Hi. Hi.
噢，克里斯，我们走吧 Oh. Chris, let's get it to go.
大家在看我 People are staring at me.
哦我的天 塑料菜单！ Oh my God-- plastic menus!
这个不错，是不是，克里斯？ Well, this isn't gonna work, is it now, Chris?
克里斯？ Chris?
很抱歉，但是我想知道你是不是认为 Excuse me, but I was wondering if you think
美国会转换度量衡为公制？ America will ever switch to the metric system?
嗯，这是很有意思的 Well, that's a very interesting--
-哦我的天！克里斯！ -我真不敢相信！ -Oh my God! Chris! -I don't believe this!
-哦！天哪，你看上去不错！ -我不 你看上去不错！ -Oh! God, you look great! -I don't--you look great!
-谢谢！你好吗？ -我们结婚了 -Well, thank you! How you been? -We're married.
-你们结婚了！ -结婚了？ -You're married! -Married?
-对，我们结婚了，还有个孩子，小杰 -有个儿子，小杰 -Oh, yeah, we're married, we got a kid. TJ -We have a son. TJ.
-小杰！ -他像我，有克莱克一样的眼睛 -TJ! -He looks like me. He's got Clark's eyes--
哦我的天！时光飞逝啊？ Oh my God! Where does the time go?
他很有创造力，他就是聪明极了，你可以见见他 He's like the creative mind kid, he's like, brilliant and you can meet him.
-很好！ -天哪，看看你的牙！ -That's great! -God, look at those teeth!
可够能唬人的，我的朋友 Those are some nice veneers you got, my friend.
-别告诉我你是个牙医 -牙医？ -Don't tell me that you're a dentist -A dentist?
-我绝对会出卖你，伙计 -嘿，我们彼此彼此，伙计 -I totally sold out, dude -Hey, you and me both, buddy.
嘿，爱人，你不准备介绍我吗，嗯？ Hey, lover, aren't you gonna introduce me, huh?
对！ Yes!
萨曼沙，这是我的老朋友 Samantha, these are my old friends.
他是克莱克，她是达拉 This is Clark, this is Darla.
你们叫“克莱克”和“达拉”？ Your names are "Clark" and "Darla"?
-对 -嗯哼 -Yeah -Mm-hm.
哦，我的天，真可爱！ Oh my God, that is so cute!
我真想吃了你们两个！ I just wanna eat you both up!
噢 Oh.
好吧，我要去趟洗手间 Okay, I am gonna go to the little girI's room.
-好 -然后我们走 -Good -And then we're outie.
-好 -好 -Okay -Okay.
她是 嗯，新来了 She's. uh, incoming.
哦我的天 Oh my God.
看看那女孩的屁股，真大！ Check out that girI's ass. Huge!
很高兴见到你 It was so nice meeting you.
嗯，达拉 Mm. Darla.
她很可爱 She's adorable.
-而且亲切 -克里斯的福气 -And affectionate -Christ sakes.
-克里斯·布兰德，女士们先生们！ -耶！很高兴 -Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen! -Yes! You guys, so good--
克里斯·布兰德？克里斯·布兰德？ Chris Brander? Chris Brander?
天哪 Holy--
我看见你在格莱美颁奖礼上坐在蒂奇旁边！ I saw you at the Grammys sitting next to P. Diddy!
是我，提姆，你还记得吗？ It's me Tim. You remember?
噢，我怎么能忘了你，提姆？ Oh, how could l forget you, Tim?
嘿，你有5块钱 Hey, you got $5
能借给我吗？ that I can, like, have?
有 Yeah.
你还在做梦，提姆 You keep living the dream, Tim.
好了！ Done!
再见 Buh-bye now.
-95班！ -95班！ -Class of '95! -Class of '95!
你的钱，婊子！ Here's your money, bitch!
-他看上去不错 -我不敢相信 -He looks good -Man, I can't believe--
发生 发生了什么？你去哪了？ wha--like what happened? Where did you go?
嘿，你知道 只是搬去西部 Hey, you know-- just migrated west.
我猜我追逐的梦想不在这里 You know, I'm living the dream out there, I guess.
我只是和我爸爸住在一起，然后 I just stayed with my dad for awhile, and.
给自己找了一份唱片制作的工作 yeah, hocked my soul for a record executive job.
然后开始 我是说我要先实习 and started-- I mean I had an internship first
-几年时间 -啊-哈，对 -a couple of years -Uh-huh, right.
杰米 Jamie.
杰米？ Jamie?
-克里斯，嗨！ -嗨！ -Chris, hi! -Hi!
你在下面做什么？ What are you doing down there?
噢，我只是低下点！ Oh, I'm just busted!
你好吗？噢，稍等 How are you? Oh, shit. Hold on.
喔！ Wow!
看看你！ Look at you!
哦我的天 Oh my God,
我能用手臂环抱住你了 I can put my arms around you.
-你看上去好极了！看看这身体！ -谢谢你 -You look so great! Look at this body! -Thank you.
-你就像换了一个人！ -对 -You're like a new man! -Yeah.
手臂，还有肚子 These arms and your belly,
看看 胸肌，还有 and look at-- pecs, and--
喔！克里斯·布兰德 Wow! Chris Brander.
天哪，杰米·帕拉米诺 God. Jamie Palamino.
那么，嗯 你准备在镇上待多久？ So, um--so how long are you in town for?
嗯，事实上只有一晚 Um, just the night, actually.
只有一晚，真的？不能多待些日子吗？ Just one night, really? You can't stay any longer?
不行，我希望可以，但我 No. I wish I could, but l--
我们走，克里斯，地上有尿 Let's go, Chris. There's pee on the floor.
-对 -好吧，嗯 -Yeah -Okay, um--
好，那个 all right, well.
-真的很高兴能见到你 -我也是 -it's really great to see you again -You too.
噢 Oh.
喔 Wow--
有时间给我打电话 Just give me a call sometime.
我和父母同住 I'm living with my parents.
噢，我知道，我和父母同住 Oh, I know. I'm living with my parents.
好了，拜 Okay, bye.
-拜 -拜 -Bye -Bye.
-杰米·帕拉米诺 -喔哦！ -Jamie Pal -Whoa!
她像是一瓶好酒 She's like a box of fine wine.
你应该知道 You would know.
你知道，你在高中从没有得到这样女生的青睐 You know, in high school you'd never get a girl like that.
而现在女人却随你挑 And now you get whoever you want.
我打赌你肯定能打动杰米·帕拉米诺 I bet you could definitely hit Jamie Pal.
-肯定 -好吧，好吧 -Definitely -Okay. Okay.
-请原谅 -噢耶 -Excuse me -Oh yeah.
冲！喔！ You go! Whoo!
-嘿！ -嘿！ -Hey! -Hey!
听着，我的飞机有可能明天再多停一天 Look, there is a chance that my flight might be delayed an extra day.
-你明天有什么安排？ -嗯，没有 -What are you doing tomorrow? -Um, nothing.
-想和我一起吃午饭吗？ -你是说约会那种的？ -Do you want to meet for lunch? -You mean like a day date?
对 Yeah.
很好！ Great!
克里斯！克里斯！ Chris! Chris!
-我中午来接你 -克里斯！克里斯！ -I'll pick you up at noon -Chris! Chris!
-克里斯！克里斯！克里斯！ -太好了，我真的 -Chris! Chris! Chris! -Awesome, I'm really--
-我很忙！ -我很忙！笨蛋！ -I'm busy! -I'm busy! Stupid dick!
-听上去不错，到时候见 -拜 -That sounds awesome. I'll see you then -Bye.
我们走 Let's go.
-这是怎么回事？ -没什么 -What was that all about? -Nothing.
只是老友间的问候 It's just an old friend saying hi.
那么，我们还是这样吧 Yeah, well, let's keep it that way.
-这不是手球 -是我的手球 -It's not a handball -My handball.
喵喵 Meow. Meow.
♪小时候认识你♪ ♪I used to know you when we were young♪
♪你在我所有的梦里♪ ♪You were in all my dreams♪
♪第一期我们坐在一起♪ ♪We sat together in period one♪
♪周五 8:15♪ ♪Fridays at 8:15.♪
♪只要我需要♪ ♪As long as I need to♪
♪如果你回到哈肯萨克♪ ♪And if you ever get back to Hackensack♪
♪我会在这里等你♪ ♪I'll be here for you.♪
♪我们的救世主耶稣基督在这一天诞生♪ ♪Jesus Christ our savior was born upon this day♪
♪拯救我们所有人脱离撒旦的权势♪ ♪To save us all from Satan's power♪
♪当我们误入歧途♪ ♪When we were gone astray♪
♪哦，消息♪ ♪Oh, tidings.♪
嘿！笨蛋 Hey! Dumb-ass.
醒醒 Wake up.
-嘿，醒醒 -啊！啊！ -Hey, wake up -Ah! Agh!
早 Morning.
喔喔！ Ow ow!
啊！什么？ Agh! What?
我需要你帮个忙 I need you to do me a favor.
你想让我干什么？！ What do you want from me?!
我昨晚碰见杰米·帕拉米诺了 I ran into Jamie Palomino last night.
哦，又来了 Oh, here we go again.
我不是高中时候的我了，伙计 I'm not the same person I was in high-school, pal.
对我来说你总是很胖的，克里斯 You'll always be fat to me, Chris.
你想让我干什么？！ What do you want from me?!
我要你绊住萨曼沙 I need you to detain Samantha.
这个我行 I could do that.
-克里斯，等等！ -今天真不错 -Chris, wait! -It's a beautiful day.
那巴黎呢？ What about Paris?
听着，巴黎可以等，这很重要，你不想 Look, Paris can wait. This is important. You don't wanna be
-脱离你的观众吧？ -不 -out of touch with your audience, do you? -No.
不，那么，你需要和你的观众有所交流 No, well then, you need to connect with your audience,
你需要汲取他们的活力 you need to feed off their energy.
毕竟，他们是要买你专辑的人 After all, they're the ones who're gonna be buying your album.
问题是我们在新泽西哪里可以找到 The problem is where in New Jersey are we gonna find
确定的歌迷群体？ a proper cross-section of your fans?
-购物广场？ -购物广场！ -The mall? -A mall!
好主意！ That's a great idea!
-我们有这么多共同点！ -我知道！ -We have so much in common! -I know!
-天哪 -我们行动吧！ -God -Let's do it to it!
哇！我不要跟他去！ Whoa! I am not going with him!
听着，有什么比跟你的一个歌迷同去更好的主意呢？ Look, what better way to relate to your fans than to go with one?
进来我们走 In we go.
嘿！你不跟我一起去？ Hey! You're not coming with me?
-嗯-哼 -不，亲爱的，你需要自己去 -Hmm-mm -No, sweetie. You need to do this alone.
-我不是你的拐棍 -但我 -I can't be your crutch -But l--
小心点！ Watch your face!
系好安全带！ Buckle up!
太好了，很好 Great. That's good.
看上去不错 That's looking good.
很好，真的很好 Great, guys. Really good.
帕拉米诺先生，你好吗？ Mr.Palamino, how you doing?
哇哦 Well well well,
今天不是情人节吧！ if it isn't Mr.Valentine's Day!
这个家伙，每个情人节都给杰米买一大束玫瑰 This guy, every Valentine's Day, he'd buy Jamie like a dozen roses.
曾经赶走所有她男朋友的家伙！ Used to drive all her boyfriends nuts!
哈！直到我们解释过，当然了，只是她的小朋友克里斯 Ha! Till we explained, of course, it was just her little friend Chris.
对，我记得 Yeah, I remember that.
讨厌 You prick.
我看你还是拥有镇上最好看的圣诞装饰，先生 I see you still have the best Christmas display in town, sir.
-嘿！是全国！ -嘿，克里斯！ -Hey! In the state! -Hey, Chris!
我马上出来 I'll be right out.
那个，唔，你是如何减重的？ So, uh, how'd you lose all that weight?
就像地铁里那个傻子似的？ Like that retard from Subway?
很高兴跟你聊天，先生 It was great talking to you, sir.
你开玩笑吗？ Are you kidding me?
我租了新泽喜最好的保时捷 I rented the nicest Porsche in New Jersey.
我只要表现冷淡 I'm just gonna play this whole thing aloof
她就会马上对我唯命是从 and she's gonna be eating out of the palm of my hand in no time.
得挂了 Gotta go.
嘿 Hey.
哇！保时捷，女孩子一定喜欢 Wow! Porsche. Girls must love this.
我也讨厌这个蠢东西，这是租的 I hate this stupid thing too. It's a rental.
太招摇了，他们只有这个了 So ostentatious. It's all they had left.
哼 Hmm.
-天哪，这个地方没怎么变化 -我知道 -God, this place hasn't changed a bit -I know.
你确定你不想去什么别的地方了？ Are you sure that you don't want to go someplace else?
-不，我们不走，这里有我们的过去 -过去 -No, we can't leave. We have history here -History.
哦，天哪，我记得你们两个 Oh my goodness, I remember you two.
噢，你再也不是个大胖小子了 Oh, you're not a chubby bunny anymore.
-噢，我的私人空间 -我这就回来 -Oh, my personal space -I'll be right back.
我想给你个小惊喜 I've got a little surprise for you.
不能等了 Can't wait.
哈哈！大胖小子！ Haha! Chubby bunny!
啊！谢谢你提醒我曾经那么胖 Ahh! Thanks for reminding me I was fat.
你为什么10年之前消失？ So why did you disappear on me 10 years ago?
唔，听着，关于 Uh, listen, about that--
你是不是在生我的气？ Where you that mad at me?
行了，杰米，这似乎是100年前的事了，好吗？ Come on, Jamie. It was like 100 years ago, all right?
我不再是那个可怜的小呆子 I'm not that pathetic little dweeb anymore.
你从来不是呆子，克里斯 You were never a dweeb, Chris.
-那么，跟我来说说你的工作 -哦我的天 -So, tell me about your job -Oh my God.
你知道，一旦你恢复了所有的魅力，你知道，这就是嗯 You know, once you get over all the glamour, you know, it's uh--
-除了疯狂就没有别的了 -嗯 -it's nothing but total insanity -Mm.
你知道，如果没有平克打电话给你，然后是古德·夏洛特 You know, if it's not Pink calling you, then you got Good Charlotte--
杰奇的生日派对，我现在完全生活在名人圈里 it's Jay Z's birthday party, you know, and I'm totally name-dropping right now
我真的要停下了，还有米克·杰戈，你好吗？ and I'd really like to stop. Mick Jagger. How 'bout you?
你出什么事了？为什么不在红枫干了？ You know, what happened to you? How'd you end up working at The Maple?
我不在红枫工作 I don't work at The Maple.
我是说，我在红枫工作，但我不是真的为红枫工作 I mean, I work at The Maple but I don't really work at The Maple.
-噢 -我在学着当个老师 -Yeah -I'm studying to be a teacher
我住在家里，我工作在 so I'm living at home and I'm working--
那边的电话，马上回来 It's the coast. Be right back.
他怎么了？ What happened to him?
♪五个金戒指♪ ♪Five golden rings♪
-♪四只鸣叫的小鸟♪ -我不在乎你妈妈说什么。 -♪Four calling birds♪ -I don't care what your mommy said.
♪三只法国母鸡，两只斑鸠♪ ♪Three French hens, two turtle doves♪
噢，这会是一首好歌“购物广场的人” Oh, this is gonna be a great song. "Mall People."
购物广场的人，他们来来往往 "Mall people, they come and go--
渺小的人们，他们就是不知道 small people, they just don't know."
-怎么样？ -很好 -How's it goin'? -Fantastic.
-你和杰米呢？ -对待她就像 -How's it going with Jamie? -Treating her like
-她的每一任男友 -你行！ -every boyfriend she's ever had -You da man!
-所以我有个主意 -不 -So I wanna run an idea by you -No.
既然你和杰米约会，那我和萨曼沙一起去巴黎怎么样 Since you're trying to hook up with Jamie, what if I went to Paris with Samantha
-取代你？那你 -不 -instead of you? That way you---No.
-你还没听完这个计划！ -不 -You haven't heard the whole thing yet! -No.
你知道吗，只要 只要好好想想，然后给我回电 You know what, just--just think about it and get back to me.
噢！ Ow!
-哦我的天！ -我得挂了 -Oh my God! -I gotta go.
-那边如何？ -很好 -So, how's the coast? -Super.
来了！ Here we go!
一份烤干酪，边上是配菜 One grilled cheese with ranch on the side
还有一份超级无敌甜点山是给胖小子的 and one Sugar Mountain Supreme for the chubby bunny.
很抱歉，嗯 Excuse me, um,
这个-这个 这个不适合我 this-this--this isn't gonna work for me.
但这是你老点的 But this is what you always order.
对，10年以前，当我还很胖的时候 Yeah. 10 years ago, when I was a whale.
蛋糕很好，他开玩笑的 The pancakes are fine. He's just kidding.
什么？ What?
-别这么无礼！ -是她无礼！是她无礼！ -Be more rude! -She's rude! She's rude!
我有10年不吃甜食了，好吗？你知道 I haven't had sweets in 10 years, okay? Do you know
-这对我的胃会怎么样吗？ -放松，小女孩 -what this would do to my stomach? -Relax, little girl.
我吃这个你可以吃我的三明治，好吗？ I'll have the pancakes and you can have my sandwich, okay?
我只要喝水就好了 I'll just enjoy this glass of water.
我饱了 I'm stuffed.
好时光，好时光！ Good times. Good times!
-对 -对 -Yeah -Yeah.
-再次感谢你的午餐 -噢，我给你开门 -Thanks again for lunch -Oh, I'll get your door.
噢，好 Oh. Okay.
该死 Shit.
-唔！ -嗯 -Whew! -Yeah.
再见到你真好 Well, it was great seeing you again.
没错 You too.
很高兴昨晚碰到你 Yeah, glad I ran into you last night.
对，是个惊喜 Yeah, it was a surprise.
大惊喜 Big surprise. Yeah.
外面很冷 It's cold out here.
对，没错，就像是南极 Yeah, it is. It's like the South Pole.
就像是超南极，如果有的话 It's like the deep South Pole if there was one.
然而却没有 There isn't, though.
嗯，谢谢你送我到门口 Um, thanks for walking me to my door.
再次的，见到你很高兴 Yeah. Again, it was great seeing you.
再次 again.
-我也是 -嗯 -You, too -Yeah.
保重，唔 Take care. Uh--
对，你也是，噢，唔 Yeah, you too. Oh, uh.
-噢 -很好 -Oh -That's good.
哦！ Ow!
-保重 -你也是 -Take care -You too.
哼 Hmm.
笨蛋！笨蛋！笨蛋！ Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
到底是怎么？！ What the hell?!
天哪！ God!
哦我的天！ Oh my God!
是南极！是超南极？ It's the South Pole! It's the deep South Pole?
是南极，超南极！ It's the South Pole. The deep South Pole!
我想没有，但如果有的话 I don't think there is one, but if there was one
我打赌它在南边！ I bet it would be in the south!
-我把手套落在车里了 -噢 -I left my gloves in the car -Oh.
-给你 -谢谢 -There you go -Thanks.
嘿，看看谁在那！怎么样，好莱坞小子？ Hey, look who's here! What's up, Hollywood?
-约会如何？ -糟透了 -How the big date go? -It was terrible.
我想要个吻，但她要的是拥抱，好吗？ I went in for a kiss, but she wants a hug, okay?
然后我得到一个似吻似抱的什么玩意 Then I get caught in a sort of kiss-hug limbo type thing.
我不知道是什么，然后我们以身体的摇摆告别 I don't know what that is, then l ended up shaking her entire body.
那么你-你就摇了摇她？ So y-you gave her a body shake?
噢，天哪！我应该吻她的！我做了什么？ Oh, God! I should've just kissed her! What am I doing?
看上去你又走上了老路 It looks like you picked up right where you left off.
你又回到朋友界限了 You're back in the friend zone.
噢 Oh, f-f.
什么？ What?
小问题 Little problem.
好了，她有点头疼 Okay, she's got a bit of a headache.
没有那么糟，哈！ It's not that bad. Ha!
哦我的天！ Oh my God!
她到底怎么了？ What the hell happened to her?
长话短说，她摔了 Long story short, she fell.
萨曼沙，你没事吧？ Samantha, are you okay?
我要吹泡泡 I'm gonna make bubble.
兄弟，她没事！ Dude, she's fine!
看看她，她挺好的，她拿着她的牙膏 Look at her. She's having a good time. She's got her toothpaste.
你要做的就是照顾她几小时，你对她做了什么？ All you had to do was watch her for a few hours. What did you do to her?
什么都没做！她只是因为吃了止疼药而神经错乱 Nothing! She's just all loopy from all the Vicodin.
你哪来的止疼药？ Where did you get the Vicodin?
妈妈那里 Mom.
蓝梅！ Blueberry!
好吧，我要杀了你 Okay. I'm gonna kill you.
什么？！你说的绊住她！ What?! You said detain her!
-你个死人，麦克！ -她被绊住了！ -You're a dead man, Mike! -She's detained!
呃 Eww.
-我的蛋蛋！ -哦 -My balls! -Oh.
你死定了 You're dead.
不，克里斯！不！ No, Chris! No!
克里斯 Chris--
克里斯，不！ Chris, no!
-我的老板！休战！ -休战！ -My boss! Truce! -Truce!
-休战！ -好的 -Truce! -Okay.
-哈喽？ -呀！ -Hello? -Nyah!
嘿，克里斯！ Hey, Chrissy!
我的未来之星怎么样了？ How's my future star doing?
很好，她很好，先生 Great. She's doing great, sir.
让我 让我 跟她打个招呼 So let me--let me-- let me say hi to her.
嗯，她现在不行 Uh, she's a little incapacitated at the moment.
噢，现在不行，那是我的宝贝！ Oh, a little incapacitated, that's my baby, that's my boy!
听着，等你们两个回来我有不寻常的销售活动 Look, when you two get back, I've got this incredible marketing campaign
排在这个春季我们的第一顺位： Iined up for the spring quarter. Our number one priority:
-萨曼沙·杰姆斯！ -太棒了 -Samantha James! -Awesome.
3，2，1！ Three two, one!
吼-吼-吼 Ho-ho-ho.
-耶-哈-哈！耶！ -圣诞快乐！ -Yeah-ha-ha! Yeah! -Merry Christmas!
这是帕拉米诺的圣诞节！ It's a Palamino Christmas!
还是！ Again!
-哈喽？ -杰米 -Hello? -Jamie.
-嘿 -出什么事了？ -Hey -What's up?
听着，你永远不会相信，但我还是走不了 Listen, you're never gonna believe this, but I can't get a flight out.
-我又被困在这里一天 -噢 -I'm stuck here another day -Oh.
我为早先的事情道歉 I want to apologize for earlier.
-我跟你讲和了 -我味道很好 -Let me make it up to you -I taste good.
你想去滑冰吗？ Do you want to go ice skating?
-我还以为你讨厌滑冰 -那是过去 -I thought you hated ice skating -I used to,
但你知道，我现在滑得还不错 but you know, I'm actually pretty damn good now.
事实上我是队中的最有价值球员 I'm the MVP in my league, in fact.
快点，会像从前一样 Come on, it'll be like old times.
-哈喽，卓伊丝？ -妈妈？我在打电话 -Hello, Joyce? -Mom? I'm on the phone.
噢！那么，克里斯你在卓伊丝家干什么？ Oh! Well, Chris, what are you doing over at Joyce's?
没有，妈妈，我在起居室，离你10英尺远的地方 No, Mom. I'm in the living room, 10 feet away from you
-而且我在用电话 -噢 -and I'm on the phone -Oh.
嗯，你知道，我想知道 Well, you know, I was wondering
既然我们都拿着电话，你晚饭想吃什么？ while I have you on the phone, what would you like for dinner?
我们-们吃鸡肉炒面还是炖肉 We-we have a choice between chicken chow mein or pot roast.
妈妈，拜托 Mom. Please.
妈妈！ Mom!
-妈妈！ -怎么了，小花生？ -Mom! -What is it, peanut?
我的冰刀呢？ Where are my ice skates?
噢，亲爱的，我数年之前就送人了 Oh, honey, I gave those away years ago.
你说真的？我需要它们 Are you serious? I need them.
嗯，亲爱的，为什么我要留着它们？你从来不在 Well, honey, why would I keep them? You're never here.
而且，你-你又不擅长滑冰 Besides, you-you weren't terribly good at ice skating.
我现在滑得可好了！ Well, I'm good now!
我需要我的冰刀来展现我的天赋 And I need my skates to show off my talents.
噢，那亲爱的，你可以租一双 Oh, well, honey, I'm sure you can rent a pair.
而且，你不用给杰米展现 Besides, you don't have to show off for Jamie.
只要 只要做你自己 Just-- just be yourself.
♪做你自己♪ ♪Be yourself♪
♪做你自己，做你自己♪ ♪Be yourself, be yourself.♪
现在，快点！麦克和我要堆雪人了！ Now, come on! Mikey and I are making snow angels!
我不要做我自己 I don't want to be myself.
我收藏的雪球 My snow globe collection.
♪铃儿响叮当，铃儿响叮当，一路叮当♪ ♪Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way♪
♪哦，乘坐一匹马拉的敞篷雪橇是多么有趣.♪ ♪Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.♪
-哦！该死的租来的冰刀 -噢！ -Oof! Stupid rental skates -Ooh!
你知道吗？你比以前强多了 You know what? You're a lot better than before.
-我穿着30年代的冰刀 -来，我来帮你 -I'm wearing figure skates from the '30s -Here, let me help you.
好了，我可以自己来，好吗？我很好，我现在滑得很好 Okay, I can do it myself, okay? I'm good. I'm good now.
嘿 Hey.
-那么 -那么 -So -So.
-爱情生活如何？ -不太好 -How's the love life? -Lame.
-马蒂和我一年前分手了 -噢，另一个笨蛋，啊？ -Marty and I broke up a year ago -Ooh, another jerk, huh?
-“另一个笨蛋，啊？” -我在开玩笑 -"Another jerk, huh?" -I'm kidding--
我只是说你约了很多笨蛋 I'm just saying you dated a lot of jerks
在高中里就这样 back in high school, that's all.
那你呢？除了你自己你爱上谁了？ So how about you? You in love with anyone besides yourself?
没有人 No.
我真的在约会，你知道吗？ I've really just been dating, you know?
只是想要一个相知的人 Just trying to look for my soulmate.
你没找到，是不是？ You didn't buy that, did you?
也许你应该更努力寻找 Maybe you should try harder.
或者我该试试 Or I could try this.
噢 Oh.
嘿，是帕拉米诺小姐！ Hey guys, it's Miss Palamino!
耶！ Yay!
嗨，大家好 Hi, guys.
萨拉、乔伊和布雷特，嗨！ Sarah and Joey and Brett. Hi!
-什么，你 你认识这些孩子？ -对，我给他们 -What, you--you know these kids? -Yeah, I substitute teach
-代课 -嘿，嗯，我们有场比赛 -their class -Hey, um, we're having a pickup game.
我们还要点人，你们玩吗？ We could use some more bodies. You guys play?
你知道克里斯是个好手，但是他的鞋是租的 You know Chris is a great player, but he has rentals.
-好的选手穿什么都能滑 -对！ -A good skater can skate in anything -Yeah!
我参加 I'm in.
好了，伙计们，准备 Okay, guys. Keep it clean.
噢！ -Oof! -Shoot it!
进球！射门！ Get it in! And goal!
-那算什么？！ -你真是逊！ -What was that?! -You're pathetic!
对不起，行吗？ I'm sorry, okay?
都是因为该死的租来的冰刀 It's just these damn rental skates.
行了，别在孩子面前乱骂 It's fine. Just don't cuss in front of the children.
碎嘴 Potty mouth.
打他，特里！ Get him, Terry!
噢！ Ow!
他绊我！ He hacked me!
想打架吗，小子？ Wanna fight, punk?
-什么，你逗我呢？ -决斗！ -What, are you kidding me? -Fight!
决斗！决斗！决斗！决斗！ Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
好了，好了，分开，分开 All right, all right, break it up, break it up.
你没事吧？她只是个孩子 What is your problem? She's just a child.
-那是个女孩？ -笨蛋！ -That's a girl? -Pussy!
-耶！ -好！ -Yeah! -All right!
好了，听着，我们不能这样下去 Okay, listen. We're getting creamed out there.
-是他的错 -你真逊，布兰德 -It's his fault -You suck, Brander.
-嘿 -我封你为“笨蛋” -Hey -I brand you "Suckster."
-噢 够了 -嘿 -Oh my--that's enough -Hey.
克里斯尽力了 Now Chris is trying his best here.
对不起，帕拉米诺小姐，但是他太差了 Sorry, Miss Palamino, but he's just so terrible.
-我可不差 -笨蛋！笨蛋！笨蛋！笨蛋！ -I'm not terrible -Suckster! Suckster! Suckster! Suckster!
-或许你今天应该到此为止 -不，我行的！ -Maybe you should call it a day -No, I can do this!
-笨蛋！笨蛋！笨蛋！笨蛋 -嘿！ -Suckster! Suckster. Suckster! Suckster---Hey!
我真的是个好选手，小女孩！ I'm a really good skater, little girl!
看着！你会学到的！ Watch! You might learn something!
我来这个 I'm taking this one.
我？ Me?
啊！ Ah!
克里斯，不！ Chris, no!
啊！ Ahh!
不！ No!
不许大力抽射！ No slap shots!
笨蛋！笨蛋！ Suckster! Suckster!
笨蛋！笨蛋！笨蛋！ Suckster! Suckster! Suckster!
笨蛋！笨蛋！ Suckster! Suckster!
-真够笨的 -别担心，克里斯，你会好的 -What a schmuck -Don't worry, Chris. You're gonna be fine.
哦 Oh.
-喔哦 -看上去我是 -Wow -Well, it looks like I was
-在适当的时间出现在适当的地点的人，小姐 -耶 -in the right place at the right time, Miss -Yeah.
帕拉米诺？杰米·帕拉米诺 Palamino? Jamie Palamino.
-达斯丁·丁克曼？ -啊，对 -Dusty Dinkleman? -Ah, yeah.
事实上，我现在叫“达斯丁·李”了，不过没错，是我 Actually, I go by "Dusty Lee" now, but yeah.
-“达得内？” -谢谢你救了我 -"Dutty Nee?" -Thanks for saving me.
耶，达斯丁！ Yay, Dusty!
-你还记得克里斯·布兰德吗？ -呃 -You remember Chris Brander? -Eeh.
-呜 -哦，对 -Boo -Oh, yeah.
过得不错，啊，伙计？ Seen better days, I guess, huh, pal?
嘿，听着，我不想这么唐突 Hey, listen, I don't want to make this weird,
不过你看上去真不错 but you look incredible.
-你也是 -真高兴碰到你 -So do you -Really glad you dropped in.
哦！ Ow!
酷 Cool.
对不起，伙计 Sorry about that, buddy.
我们来了 Here we go.
晚了20分钟，高加索人男性 Late'20s. male Caucasian
下颚骨有多处损伤，可能有脑震荡 with multiple lacerations on lower mandible and possible concussion.
送诊途中，完毕 Transport en route, over.
-10-4 -那么，嗯，杰米 -10-4 -So, uh, Jamie,
-你还住在镇上？ -哦，对，我刚回来的 -you still living in town? -Oh, yeah, I just moved back.
真的？我也是 Oh, really? Me too.
-这世界真小 -没错 -It's a small world -No kidding.
你知道吗? Jeez, you know,
我抵挡不住你的魅力 I cannot get over how great you look.
哦，我？看看你！ Oh, pfft. Me? Look at you!
对，我现在皮肤好了 Yeah, I guess my skin cleared up
而且我不结巴了 and I lost my stammer,
但我仍然弹吉他 but I still play a mean guitar.
事实上我只在业余时间弹，直到我能进军音乐界 I'm actually only doing this part-time till I can make it in music.
你知道，克里斯现在也在音乐界工作，他可能能帮你 You know, Chris is in the music business too. He could probably help you.
哦，嘿，放松，滑冰小子 Oh, hey. Easy there, Gretzky.
嘘 Shh.
我们应该出去玩玩，什么时候吃个午饭？ You know, we should hang out, you know, have lunch sometime?
我很高兴与你共餐 I would love to have lunch.
嗯，你把我的电话号码记在哪里？ Um, where can I give you my phone number?
就写这上面吧 Just write it on this.
杰米·帕拉米诺 Jamie Palamino.
扯淡！ This is bullshit!
你一点都没变 You haven't aged a peep.
你有多了解达斯丁·丁克曼？ What do you know about Dusty Dinkleman?
-你是说达斯丁·李？ -对 -You mean Dusty Lee? -Yeah.
在这里上班，开救护车，怎么了？ Works in the building, drives ambulance. Why?
帮我想想，我又和杰米出去了 Well check this out. So I'm out with Jamie again--
又是一天的约会？ Another day date?
对，不管怎么说 Yes. Anyway,
我们很愉快 we're having a great time
然后达斯丁不知道从什么地方冒出来 and then Dusty shows up out of nowhere,
然后杰米给他留了电话 and then Jamie gives him her number.
嘿，那个达斯丁不是不也曾经很喜欢杰米？ Hey, didn't Dusty have like a huge crush on Jamie?
-嗯 -对，你有 -Uh -Yeah, you got some
对手了，克里斯，我是说，达斯丁确实是个好小伙儿 competition there, Chris. I mean, Dusty is a really nice guy.
对，杰米没约过好小伙儿 Yeah, well Jamie doesn't date nice guys.
她把他们当成朋友 She puts them in the friend zone
然后折磨他们 and then tortures the shit out of them.
我不知道，杰米自从高中以后经历了很多 I don't know. Jamie's come a long way since high school.
我想她应该成熟了 I think she might be maturing.
成熟了？ Maturing?
这就是她约会达斯丁的原因 So that's why she went with Dusty.
她要个敏感的家伙 She wants a sensitive guy--
就和以前的我差不多 more like the old me.
嗯，如果她想要罗杰斯先生 Well, if she wants Mr.Rogers,
那我就给她看看 then I'm going to show her
她从没见过的大烂人 the biggest pussy she's ever seen.
对 Yeah.
好了，我们完了，现在，嗯 Okay, we're done. Now, uh.
你今后几天要戴着这个 you're gonna need to wear this for the next few days
直到可以拆线 until those stitches are ready to come out.
行了，啊？跟你以前同学录的照片一样 And here you go. Huh? Just like your old yearbook picture.
♪Feel my love from afar.♪
进来！ Come in!
-我能进来吗？ -我刚才说了 -Can I come in? -I just said that.
我拿来了杂志 I brought magazines.
啊，这些是旧的 Ugh, these are old.
-花？ -那是雏菊 -Flowers? -Those are daisies.
-零食呢？ -卡路里？你开玩笑吗？ -How about snacks? -Carbs? Are you kidding me?
我才不吃那垃圾食物 I can't eat that crap.
我只是想帮点忙 I'm just trying to be helpful.
你帮不上，走吧 Well you're not. So vamoose.
-我想我只好不管你了 -不，等等 -I guess I'll just leave you now -No, wait wait.
对不起，我这么挑剔 I'm sorry I'm being such a biatch.
只是因为我应该在巴黎而我却还没有 It's just that I'm supposed to be in Paris and I'm not,
而且我现在烦透了！ and I'm going out of my mind with boredom!
我是说，我的伙伴不管我了而我 I mean, my Sidekick broke and l--
我没有，没有做爱，很久了 I haven't had sex in, like, forever.
我很抱歉 And I'm so horny.
我冲动了 I'm horny.
等一会儿 Wait a minute.
-你多大了？ -我22 20 19 -How old are you? -I'm 22--20--19--
我 我18岁 I'm--I'm 18.
18岁 Eighteen.
那么你是真的把我的海报贴在墙上了？ So do you really have my poster on your wall?
-对 -你是否 -Yeah -Do you ever like.
总是 All the time.
一天多少次？ How many times in a day?
-8次 -8次？！ -Eight -Eight?!
8次？哦我的天，那可真行 Eight? Oh my God, that's hot.
-你很性感 -我知道，我知道 -You're hot -I know, I know.
-哦，噢 -你没事吧？ -Oh, ow -Are you okay?
哦，我的背疼死了 Oh, my back is killing me.
哦，我可以给你按摩 Oh, I could give you a massage.
噢，你介意吗？ Oh, would you mind?
不介意 Not at all.
-噢，我赤裸裸了 -你赤裸裸了 -Oopsie, I'm naked -You're naked.
你有油吗？ Do you have any oil?
马上回来 Right back.
你怎么去了那么久？ What took you so long?
-给我你拿来的东西，宝贝 -好 -Show me what you've got, baby -Okay.
宝贝，哦！ Baby, ooh!
哦，还要还要！ Ooh, more more!
-好，够了，够了！ -好 -Okay, enough. Enough! -Okay.
哦，耶 Oh, yeah.
嘿嘿，圣诞快乐，邻居 Hey hey. Merry Christmas, neighbor.
呀 嘿！ Gee--hey!
-哦，耶 -麦克喜欢 -Ooh, yeah -Mikey likey,
-麦克喜欢，麦克喜欢，麦克喜欢 -耶 -Mikey likey, Mikey likey, Mikey likey---Yeah.
哦！你到底去哪里了？！ Oh! Where the hell have you been?!
我去找你的食物 I was getting you food.
-你是戴着牙套吗？ -不是牙套 -Are you wearing braces? -It's not braces.
是牙托，没有那么坏 It's a retainer and it's not that bad.
-哈，你看上去像个白痴！ -白痴！ -Ha, you look like a doofus! -Doofus!
白痴！白痴！ Doofus! Doofus!
白痴！白痴！白 Doofus! Doofus! Doof--
克里斯？ Chris?
妈妈 Mommy.
真可爱 So pretty.
亲爱的，看看给你的 Honey, look what just came for you.
是一张杰米送的“尽快康复”卡 It's a "Get well soon" card from Jamie.
-嘘 -啊？ -Boo -Oh yeah?
你怎么想，啊？ What do you think of that, huh?
是抱抱和亲亲，兄弟，妈妈在我的卡片上都这么写 It's hugs and kisses, dude. Mom writes that on my cards.
那是因为我是那么的爱你们两个 That's because I love you both so much.
谢谢，妈妈 Thanks, Mommy.
哦，天哪 Oh, God.
休战！ Truce!
全乱了 Total pussy.
你是这个世界上最烂的人 You're the biggest pussy on planet Earth.
是你 It's you.
-哈喽？ -杰米！ -Hello? -Jamie!
-克里斯！你感觉如何？ -好多了 -Chris! How are you feeling? -So much better.
听着，我知道是圣诞前夜 Listen, I know it's Christmas Eve,
-但你今晚有什么计划吗？ -没有 -but do you have any plans tonight? -No.
那么 Well.
镇上的剧场 the revival theater in town
正在上映尼古拉斯·斯巴克斯的《恋恋笔记本》 is showing Nicholas Sparks's "The Notebook."
啊？ Huh?
-哈喽？我在用电话 -你真的想去看《恋恋笔记本》？ -Hello? I'm on the phone -Really you want to see "The Notebook"?
对，因为我喜欢催人泪下的感情戏 Yes, because I love sentimental tear-jerkers.
我要吐了 I'm gonna friggin' puke.
稍等 Just a second.
-你死定了，你听见了吗？ -随便，伙计 -You are so dead. Do you hear me? -Whatever, dude.
-你在那干什么？ -同性恋 -What're you doing over there? -Faggot.
-没什么 -哦，我还有个电话，稍等 -Nothing -Ooh, that's my call-waiting. One second.
-所以，不论如何 -哈喽？ -So, anyway -Hello?
-嘿，杰米，是我达斯丁 -嘿，达斯丁 -Hey, Jamie. It's Dusty -Hey, Dusty.
嘿，听着，就 Hey, listen, just--
兄弟，我觉得她不会赴你的约 Dude, I think she left you hanging.
很有可能是个重要的商务电话，你放下电话 It's probably just an important business call. Get off the phone.
-什么，没有花招了？ -你放下电话 -What, the bar ran out of curly fries? -Get off the phone.
兄弟，你今晚准备上杰米吗？ Dude, are you gonna boink Jamie tonight?
对，你现在高兴了？ Yes. Are you happy now?
好吧 All right.
-兄弟，《恋恋笔记本》太适合同性恋了 -放下电话！ -Dude, "The Notebook"'s so gay -Get off the phone!
-很抱歉 -没关系 -Sorry about that -That's okay.
-那么，你说什么？ -关于什么？ -So anyway, what do you say? -About what?
今晚去看电影？或许晚点 Going to a movie tonight? Then maybe later
我们可以去，嗯 喝草药茶 we can go for some, uh. herbal tea.
好，可以 Okay, sure.
嗯 你知道吗？我去剧院顺路到你那 Um. You know what? You're on my way to the theater.
我大概7点半去接你怎么样？ Why don't I pick you up at like 7:30?
-这是个约会 -同性恋 -It's a date -Homo.
-再见 -再见 -Bye for now -Bye.
妈妈！妈妈！休战！ Mom! Mom! Truce!
-巴黎，我们来了！ -嗯 -Paris, here we come! -Mm.
-但我还没有准备好开演奏会 -你当然准备好了 -But I'm not ready to play a gig -Of course you are.
没有，没有 No. No.
没有！ No!
-这是个馊主意，克里斯 -天哪，我真是太蠢了！ -This is a bad idea, Chris -God, I'm so stupid!
-不你不蠢，宝贝 -我来了，来培养这个艺术家 -No you're not, baby -Here I am, trying to nurture this artist,
但你仍然是个轰动一时的泡泡糖舞曲偶像 yet you're this pop bubblegum sensation,
那就行了 and that's okay.
巴黎，我们来了！ Paris, here we come!
但我是个艺术家，我是个艺术家！ But I am an artist. I am an artist!
嘿！我是个艺术家！ Hey! I am an artist!
-我们去吧 -你准备好了？ -Let's go do this -Are you ready for this?
我早就准备好了，笨蛋 I was born ready, bitch.
-我真的很兴奋 -对，我也是 -I'm really excited about this -Yeah, me too.
-对 -好了，我们干吧 -Yeah -Okay, let's do this.
好 Yeah.
-嘿！等等！你不跟我来吗？ -当然 -Hey! Wait! You're not coming with me? -Of course I am.
麦克只是送你去演奏会 Mike's just giving you a ride to the gig.
我要留在这里，我需要做一些后勤工作 I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna do some administrative work
我们那边见 and I'm gonna meet you there.
咖啡屋今晚是开放之夜 It's open mic night at The Coffee House.
咖啡屋不好，兄弟，行了 Coffee House is lame, dude. Come on--
好！ all right!
快点想！ Think fast. Boop!
噢！ Oh!
喔！ Ow!
♪我发誓♪ ♪And I swear♪
-♪月亮和星星♪ 天哪 -♪By the moon and the stars.♪ -Jesus.
-♪在天空中。♪ 看上去像麦克尔伯顿套件 -♪In the skies.♪ -Looks like the Michael Bolton starter kit.
♪我会在那里♪ ♪I'll be there♪
♪我发誓♪ ♪And I swear♪
♪像你身边的影子♪ ♪Like a shadow that's by your side.♪
表演时间 Showtime.
快点！要多久 Come on! How long does it--
-槲寄生 -哈喽 -Mistletoe -Hello.
-哦我的天！ -杰米！你好吗？ -Oh my God! -Jamie! How are you?
你长成个漂亮的大姑娘了 You've grown into such a beautiful young woman,
是不是，克里斯？ hasn't she, Chris?
叮咚 Ding-dong.
达斯丁，嘿，怎么回事？ Dusty. Hey. Why?
你开玩笑吗，伙计？我爱死了《恋恋笔记本》 Are you kidding, man? I love "The Notebook".
我是说，听着，我知道这听上去 I mean, listen, I know it might sound
有点天真，或许还有点女性化 a little corny, maybe even a little femme,
但是我找到一些灿烂的东西 but I find something so resplendent
从尼古拉斯·斯巴克斯简朴的写作中，你知道我什么意思？ in the simplicity of Nicholas Sparks' writing, you know what I mean?
很好的装备，顺便说一句，很摇滚 Nice outfit, by the way. Rock and roll.
卡罗尔？ Carol?
哦我的天 Oh my God.
-卡罗尔 -达斯丁，哦我的天 -Carol -Dusty, oh my goodness.
-这真值得庆祝 -哦，绝对是 -This is old-home week -Oh, absolutely.
-达斯丁来没事吧？ -哦，达斯丁能来太好了 -Is it okay that Dusty came? -Oh, it's awesome that Dusty came.
-谢谢你 -好 Thank you -Okay.
-在医院，我 -达斯丁！ -.in the hospital. We got---Dust!
嘿，我们出发吧 Hey, let's hit the road.
嗯，孩子们好好玩 Well, you kids have fun.
哦，卡罗尔，你为什么不和我们一起呢？ Oh, Carol, why don't you come join us?
她在打扫 She's vacuuming.
嗯-嗯，我倒是愿意，但我 我不想强人所难 W-well, I'd love to, but l-- I wouldn't want to impose.
-哦，怎么会呢！ -不 -Oh, no imposition at all! -No.
我们希望你来，是不是，克里斯？ We'd love to have you, wouldn't we, Chris?
对，太好了 Yeah, rad. Awesome.
妈妈也来，真好 Mom's coming. That's good.
-现在是一群人了 -对！ -There's a group now -Yes!
-是我们，是我们 -哦，亲爱的 -It was us. It was us -Oh, my darling.
哦我的甜心 Oh my sweetheart.
我是多么的爱你 I love you so much.
-我们还有多少时间？ -我不确定 -How much time do we have? -I'm not sure.
上一次不超过5分钟 Last time it was no more than five minutes.
我爱你，天使 I love you, angel.
我怎么了？ What happened to me?
真是太变态了 This is so gay.
哦，达斯丁 Oh, Dusty.
王八蛋！啊？ Son of a bitch! Huh?
小花生 Peanut.
哦，不 Oh, no.
♪Forgiveness.♪
我们要看你的咪咪！ Show us your tits!
嘿！艾斯里·辛普森！ -♪Is more than saying sorry.♪ -Hey! Ashlee Simpson!
宽恕这个！ Forgive this!
达斯丁，这是什么车？ Dusty, what kind of car is this?
卡罗尔，这是一款名叫普雷斯的日本车 Carol, this little Japanese princess here is called the Prius.
我们觉得你们这些孩子真懂事 I think it's so neat that you kids
是如此注重环境 care about the environment.
-我爱环境 -但是亲爱的，你不是开 -I love the environment -But honey, don't you drive
蓝德路虎吗？那不好吗？ a Range Rover? Aren't those bad?
嗯，我今晚真的很开心 Well, I had a really nice time tonight,
希望很快还有机会相聚 and I hope we can do it again soon.
嘿，达斯丁，谢谢你来 Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'.
哦，这是我的荣幸，真的 Oh, listen, man, it was my pleasure, really.
谢谢你们带我玩，真好 Thank you all for having me. It was so nice.
还有，在我忘了之前，记住 And hey, before I forget, make sure
你每天至少要把那东西洗两次，好吗？ that you rinse that thing at least twice a day, okay?
你的嘴就是个恶心的化粪池 Your mouth is a disgusting open cesspool
有各种细菌和微生物，放回去！ with germs and bacteria. Now put that back!
-克里斯，放回去 -放回去！ -Christopher, put that back -Put it back!
谢谢 Thanks.
嘿，有人要可可吗？ Hey, anyone want some cocoa?
哦，卡罗尔，你真好！ Oh, Carol, you are so sweet!
我也很想，但我要去医院值班 And I would love to do that, except I volunteered at the hospital
这样保罗可以回家和家人一起过圣诞夜 so that Paul could spend Christmas Eve with his family.
-所以，我得走了 -啊 -So, I kinda gotta get going -Aw.
真是遗憾，天哪！ That's a drag. God!
嘿，杰米，那你呢？ Hey, Jamie, what about you?
-准备好了？ -给我来个狮子吼，狮子吼！ -Ready? -Give me a Cougar roar. Cougar roar!
啊 Aw.
饼干怪兽说狮子是 Cookie Monster says the Cougars are
最好的点心 great big cookies
在罐子的最上面 at the top of the jar.
女士们先生们，非凡的克里斯·布兰德 Ladies and Gentleman, the amazing Chris Brander.
哦，我的天，我记得这个 Oh my gosh, I remember this.
他在扔三个网球，但很快就累了 He juggles three tennis balls, but gets bored very quickly
想玩点别的 and wants something else.
嘘-嘘-嘘，抢救！ Shh-shh-shh, clear!
抢救！ Clear!
不要亲我！ No kissing!
没错，杰米·帕拉米诺 That's right, Jamie Palamino,
你是我最好的朋友！ you're my best friend!
我爱你，克里斯·布兰德，呒啊！ I love you, Chris Brander. Mwha!
呒啊，呒啊，呒啊！ Mwha, mwha, mwha!
噢，你妈妈的车，你看，这个更像你 Oh, your mom's car. You see, this is more like you.
对，我准备带回洛杉矶去 Yeah, I'm gonna take it back to L.A.
-什么？ -猜我找到了什么？ -What? -Guess what I found?
-不，我给你录的带子？ -1995年 -No, the tape I made you? -1995.
-“夏日钟情” -放进去 -"The Summer of Like." -Put it in.
♪Dun-nun-de-dun de-dun-dun-dun♪
哦，天哪 Oh, God.
-噢！ -哦我的天 -Oh! -Oh my God,
我都快尿了 I just peed a little.
-晚安 -晚安，克里斯 -Good night, guys -Good night, Chris.
怎么了？ What's up?
-小麻烦 -你在哪？ -Little problem -Where are you?
-红叶商店 -什么？！ -The Metal Shop -What?!
嘿！嘿，哦！哦！ Hey! Hey, ow! Ow!
-够了，混蛋！ -来啊！ -That's it, bitch. It's on! -Come on!
啊！我要杀了你！还有意思吗，混蛋，啊？！ Ah! I'm gonna kill you! Not so funny now, bitch, huh?!
-还有意思吗？！ -对不起！对不起！ -Not so funny now?! -I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
♪Christmas, Christmas, the happiest day of the year.♪
谢谢圣诞蛋糕，妈妈 Kudos on the Christmas cookies, Mom.
谢谢，小南瓜，我一小时后回来 Thanks, pumpkin. I'll be back in an hour.
♪雪橇铃声响起，叮当响♪ ♪Where sleigh bells ringing and go jingle-ling♪
♪当我们在雪地里疾驰♪ ♪As we're dashing through the snow♪
♪圣诞节，圣诞节♪ ♪Christmas, Christmas♪
♪那么, 耶稣, 听听我们的歌....♪ ♪So, Jesus, hear our song.♪
-怎么了，兄弟？ -安静，她在睡觉 -What's up, Dude? -Quiet, she's sleeping.
我要去找杰米 I'm going over to Jamie's.
-你还没有上她吗？ -闭嘴 -Did you boink her yet? -Shut it.
如果她醒了，告诉她我去找博诺 If she wakes up, tell her I went to meet Bono.
-你去找博诺？我也要去 -不，你去什么 -You're gonna meet Bono? I wanna come -No, you walking void,
这是个谎话，但如果她醒了，只要告诉她我很快回来 it's a lie, but if she wakes up just tell her I'll be back in a bit.
-好！ -好！ -Fine! -Fine!
-我爱你 -我也爱你 -I love you -I love you too.
♪圣诞节，圣诞节♪ ♪Christmas, Christmas♪
-♪一年中最快乐的一天♪ 麦克！ -♪The happiest day of the year♪ -Mike!
噢，天哪！ Oh, God!
♪传播圣诞欢乐♪ ♪Spreading Christmas cheer♪
♪我们祝你圣诞快乐♪ ♪We wish you a Merry Christmas♪
♪我们祝你圣诞快乐，新年快乐♪ ♪We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year♪
真是可怜！ This is pathetic!
♪我们为您和您的家人带来好消息♪ ♪Good tidings we bring, to you and your kin♪
♪圣诞节好消息♪ ♪Good tidings for Christmas♪
-♪还有新年快乐♪ 该死！ -♪And a Happy New Year♪ -Oh shit!
谢谢大家，谢谢 Thank you, guys. Thank you.
再来一个！再来一个！再来一个！ Encore! Encore! Encore!
好，好，再来一首 Okay, all right, one more time.
-再来一首，好 -哦耶！ -One more time. Okay -Oh yeah!
开始，你们知道 Here we go. You guys, you know,
圣诞节是给予的日子 Christmas is the time for giving.
而你能给予的最珍贵的礼物 And the most precious gift that you can give.
-是你的心 -啊 -is your heart -Aww.
杰米·帕拉米诺，这是我给你的礼物 Jamie Palamino, this is my gift to you.
♪当杰米微笑时♪ ♪When Jamie smiles♪
♪它需要我英里♪ ♪It takes me miles♪
♪从我不确定的地方♪ ♪From where I feel unsure♪
♪当杰米微笑时♪ ♪When Jamie smiles♪
♪我意识到♪ ♪I realize♪
♪她不是普通的女孩♪ ♪She's no ordinary girl♪
♪嗯嗯嗯♪ ♪Hm-mm-mm.♪
♪不平凡的女孩♪ ♪No ordinary girl♪
♪哦-哦-hhh.♪ ♪Oh-oh-hhh.♪
-克里斯在哪？！ -我不会说的！ -Where's Chris?! -I'll never tell you anything!
哦？ Oh yeah?
他和他的爱人在一起 -He's with his lover -♪Deck the halls with bows of holly♪
♪Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la♪
♪'这是欢乐的季节♪ ♪'Tis the season to be jolly♪
♪Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la♪
兄弟，杰米在外面，你在这里干什么？ Dude, Jamie's outside. What are you doing up here?
我被丁克曼打败了 I'm getting my butt kicked by Dinkleman,
所以我在这 that's what I'm doing up here.
你看见他弹吉他了吗？就像他有15根手指 You see him play that guitar? It's like he has 15 fingers.
大家都喜欢他，我不能和他争 Everybody loves him. I can't compete with this guy.
你不能和他争 你开玩笑吗？ You can't compete with this-- are you kidding me?
你是克里斯·布兰德！你来自好莱坞，你和模特约会！ You're Chris Brander! You're Hollywood. You date models!
他是新泽西人，他只能穿着牛仔裤滑雪！ He's Jersey. He skis in his jeans!
他是丁克曼 It's Dinkleman.
他是达斯丁·丁克曼 It's Dusty Dinkleman.
-丁克曼 -丁克曼 -Dinkleman -Dinkleman.
-丁克曼 -丁克曼！ -Dinkleman -Dinkleman!
-丁克曼 -丁克曼会输 -Dinkleman -Dinkleman's going down.
丁克曼 会输得很惨 Dinkleman. is going way down.
好小子 Atta boy.
你现在出去，告诉杰米你的感受！ Now you get out there and you tell Jamie how you feel!
-去吧 -好小子 -Let's do this -Atta boy.
克里斯·布兰德，女士们先生们！ Good oI' Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen!
♪.我看不起斯蒂芬节♪ ♪.Iooked down on the Feast of Stephen♪
♪当周围有雪时♪ ♪When the snow lay round about♪
♪深沉脆匀♪ ♪Deep and crisp and even♪
♪那天晚上月亮很亮♪ ♪Brightly shone the moon that night♪
♪虽然霜很残忍♪ ♪Though the frost was cruel♪
怎么 What the.
♪这是一年中最美好的时光♪ ♪It's the most wonderful time of the year.♪
一切都完了！跑吧！ The jig is up! Run!
你个王八蛋！ You son of a bitch!
萨曼沙！你来了！该死！ Samantha! You're here! Shit!
就是她，那个小荡妇 There she is. There's the little slut
你背着我乱搞！ you've been banging behind my back!
-我？ -不是你，黄脸婆，是她！ -Me? -Not you, wrinkles. Her!
-你是谁？ -哦 -Who are you? -Oh.
-我是萨曼沙·杰姆斯，婊子！ -别推我！ -I'm Samantha James, bitch! -Don't shove me!
-你是个荡妇！小荡妇！ -放开！ -You're a whore! Santa's little whore! -Get off!
打架啦！ -Santa's little whore! -Cat fight!
-出去！ -你会为此付出代价 -Get out! -You're gonna pay for this.
我要你失业！ I'm gonna get you fired!
祝你失业愉快，混蛋！ Hope you enjoy unemployment, dickweed!
放开我，天！ Get off me, God boy!
但是萨曼沙，你唱的那首歌呢？“宽恕”！ But Samantha, What about the words to your song? "Forgiveness"!
宽恕这个吧，笨蛋 Forgive this, asshole.
哦 Oh.
我恨这个镇子！ I hate this town!
给我打电话 Call me.
-克里斯？ -嗯 -Chris? -Yeah.
-小麻烦 -嗯？ -Little problem -Hm?
闪开！ Duck!
-吼-吼-吼！吼-吼！ -不！不要是圣诞老人！ -Ho-ho-ho! Ho-ho! -No! Not Santa!
哇！燃烧的驯鹿 Whoa! Flaming reindeer.
哇！这可不是天天能看见 Wow! You don't see that every day.
嘿克里斯，我是萨曼沙，我刚和我的赞助商谈过 Hey Chris, it's Samantha. I just talked to my sponsor
我欠你一个道歉 and I owe you an apology.
我是萨曼沙 给我打电话 It's Samantha-- Call me--
我是萨曼沙！ It's Samantha!
哈喽，卓伊丝？ Hello, Joyce?
卓伊丝？ Joyce?
走开 Go away.
走开！ Go away!
妈妈，我说了我胃疼 Mom, I said I have a tummy ache.
这不是个有趣的圣诞 Well that was an interesting Christmas.
对不起，我会赔的 I'm sorry. I'll pay for everything.
我不是来兴师问罪的 I'm not here to collect.
那你来干什么？ What are you doing here?
我来是要和写这个的家伙谈谈 I want to talk to the guy who wrote me this.
哇 Wow.
-嗯 还要吗？ -不，已经够了 -Mmm. want some more? -No. Gallon's my limit.
哦，我很抱歉我不是你的那些模特女友 Oh, excuse me if I'm not one of your stick models.
我是克里斯·布兰德，我和古德·夏洛特和平克一起玩的 "I'm Chris Brander. I hang out with Good Charlotte and Pink.
-我参加杰奇的生日派对 -好了，好了，好了 -I go to Jay Z's birthday party--" -Okay, okay. All right.
-非常感谢你，我知道了，我真蠢 -对 -Thank you very much. I get it. I was lame -Yeah.
事实上，我很紧张，但是，更重要的是 Actually, I was nervous, but uh, more importantly,
这个帽子让我看上去更胖吗？ does this hat make me look fat?
那么 So.
你的生活是否如你所愿呢？ is your life everything you'd hoped it'd be?
我总是想如果我事业有成 I always thought that if I had a huge career
有著名的客户和大把的钞票 and famous clients and tons of money
我就会幸福 that I'd be happy.
而事实上 And the truth is.
我曾是对的 I was right.
我喜欢这样，特别是钱，哦 I love it. Especially the money. Ooh.
你无药可救了！ You're so bad!
那你呢？ What about you?
让我来拷问你吧，啊？ Let's put you in the hot seat, huh?
你这10年在干什么？ Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
唔，那个，我在教书 Um, well, I see myself teaching.
我结婚了 And I see myself getting married
养家了 and raising a family.
什么？ What?
太晚了 It's gettin' late.
为什么我不送你回家？ Why don't l take you home?
或者 Or.
我可以小住一晚，就像从前一样 I could sleep over like old times.
天哪 God.
-嗨 -哇哦 -Hi -Wow.
-啊哈 -啊哈 -Ahhh -Ahhh.
-我们好了 -对 -Here we are -Yeah.
对，哼 Yeah. Hmm.
就这样 This is it.
你还是要得到杰米·帕拉米诺了 You're finally gonna have sex with Jamie Palamino.
哦天哪，看看这脸蛋，看看这身体 Oh God, look at that face. Look at that body.
为什么你像个傻子一样的笑？ Why are you smiling like a friggin' idiot?
快点，行动 Go on, make a move.
行动！ Make a move!
你在想什么？ What's on your mind?
布什 Bush.
布什总统，第一家庭，真的 President Bush, The First Family, really.
兄弟，你杀了我算了！ Dude, you're killing me!
这是你的梦中情人，上啊！ This is the girl of your dreams. Ravish her!
但如果她不想要呢？ But what if she doesn't want to be ravished?
如果她想做朋友呢？朋友不会强迫对方？ What if she wants to stay friends? Friends don't ravish each other?
朋友一起看“新年晚会” Friends watch "New Year's Rockin' Eve."
我想知道今年谁主持？ I wonder who's hosting this year?
克里斯，你能把你的脚放在我脚上吗？我很冷 Chris, can you put your feet on mine? They're freezing.
好 Yeah.
该死的，她的脚没有那么冷 Hell yeah. Her feet aren't even cold.
就这样 This is it.
不要想明天会多尴尬 Don't even think about how weird tomorrow's gonna be.
-克里斯 -哦天哪，哦天哪 -Chris -Oh, God. Oh, God.
你在干什么？你去哪里？ What're you doing? Where're you going?
-没事吧？ -噢，没事 -Is everything all right? -Oh, everything's fine.
你还好吗？嗯，你要另一床毯子什么的吗？ Yeah. You okay? Uh, you need another blanket or anything?
-不，我没事 -啊 -No, I'm fine -Ah.
你不准备采取行动了，是不是？ You're not gonna make a move, are you?
-晚安，杰米 -晚安，克里斯 -Good night, Jamie -Good night, Chris.
你真没用 You don't deserve a penis.
天哪，我们过了美好的一夜 God, and we had this great night
我们笑啊 and we were laughing
给对方看老照片 and we were showing each other old pictures and--
-他试别的了吗？ -没有！ -Did he try anything? -No!
-那你呢？ -没有，但我有暴露 -Did you try anything? -No, but I put myself out there.
我是说，我穿着性感的白衬衫 I mean, I wore the sexy white shirt
凑近他取暖，我们睡在一张床上 and I did the whole cold-feet move and we slept in the same bed.
他到底有什么毛病？我是说，他为什么不跟她做爱？ What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, why didn't you sleep with her?
-噢，我知道，我要过她了 -我是说，你们两个 -Oh, I know. I had her -I mean, are you two
没有相同的生理周期还是怎么的？ on the same menstrual cycle yet or what?
我不知道，我不知道，我不知道 I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
或许我就是比不上那些洛杉矶的姑娘 Maybe I just don't compare to these L.A. girls.
听着，只是时机不对，好吗？ Look, the timing just wasn't right, you know?
我 我躺在那里，我准备更进一步 I'm--I'm laying there. I'm about to make my move
然后忽然想到了 and then suddenly it just hits me.
什么 Where's this going?
我们做爱之后会发生什么？ What happens after we sleep together?
她搬去洛杉矶？还是我搬回来？ Does she move to L.A.? Do I move back here?
天哪，兄弟，我以为你只是想和她缠绵 Jesus, Dude. I thought you just wanted to sleep with her.
或许他只是想做朋友 Maybe he just wants to be friends.
或许他是个同性恋 Maybe he's gay.
我就是不能碰杰米·帕拉米诺，我们有过去 I can't just sleep with Jamie Palamino. We have a history.
-我们 我们 我们 我们是 -朋友 -We're--we're--we're--we're -Friends.
该死的！ God damn it!
我又回到高中时代了，你知道吗？ I'm right back in high school again, you know?
我得听我自己的，我得离开 I gotta follow my own advice. I gotta just walk away.
不，3点钟 No, put me on the 3:00.
我越早离开越好 The sooner I get out of here, the better.
-你确定？ -不 -You sure about this? -No.
♪当珍妮丝微笑时♪ ♪When Janice smiles.♪
-♪我意识到♪ 珍妮丝？ -Janice? -♪I realize♪
♪她不平凡♪ ♪She's no ordinary♪
♪女孩。♪ ♪Girl.♪
听着，我得过去 Hey listen. I gotta hang out
跟朋友打个招呼，好吗？ with my friends over there, okay?
-我晚上再跟你说 -喔！ -I'll talk to you tonight -Whoo!
-怎么了，同性恋？ -你说呢 -What's up, homies? -You tell me.
-你和那个护士怎么回事？ -噢，珍妮丝 -What's with the nurse? -Oh, Janice.
哦，只是另一个伴，我的朋友 Oof, another bee in the hive, my friend,
-只是另一个伴 -那杰米呢？ -just another bee -Well, what about Jamie?
她怎么了？我是说，嘿 What about her? I mean, hey,
很好，是不是？以前的两个小丑 it's great, right? Two biggest geeks back in the day
现在争夺高中校花？ now finally have a shot with the hottest chick in high school?
-你没这本事，我的朋友 -嘿，你开玩笑吗？ -You can't write that stuff, my friend -Hey, are you kidding me?
哦，来啊，别来什么好男人的规矩 Oh, come on, man. Cut the nice guy routine.
我知道你的斤两，我完全赞同 I know what you're up to and I am all for it.
我是说这是对杰米·帕拉米诺的甜蜜报复 I mean it is gonna be sweet revenge on Jamie Palamino
那些年只把我们两个作为朋友 for keeping us in the friend zone all those years.
哦，对，你希望你是她朋友 Oh, yeah, you wish you were in the friend zone.
我是她朋友，只有我是 I was in the friend zone. Friend zone's mine.
-达斯丁，爆米花好了 -收到，我来了 -Dusty, popcorn's ready -Copy that, I'm mobile.
-听着，我得走了 -这家伙该死！ -Listen, I gotta run -The man's juice!
你们很好吧，见到你真高兴 You guys have a nice time. It's been nice seeing you.
和杰米快活点，我知道我会的，克莱克，随时欢迎 Have fun with Jamie. I know I will. Clark, always a pleasure.
-丁克曼 -王八蛋 -Dinkleman -Son of a bitch.
我们这在考虑日托 So we're looking at day cares.
这样达拉就给小杰选了这家，很不错 And Darla's got this one picked out for TJ and it's great.
还有你知道吗，别说我，我想给我孩子最好的 And you know, don't get me wrong, I want the best for my kid.
我是说他应该得到最好的 I mean he deserves the best
但小孩子就是太 哦，天哪！ but Tiny Tots is just too-- oh, Mariah Carey!
你到底在干什么？！ What the hell are you doing?!
这是辆庞迪克格兰瑞斯！ This is a Pontiac Grand Prix!
对不起，行了吗？！ I'm sorry, okay?!
但我不能让丁克曼得逞！ But I can't let Dinkleman get away with this!
我不愿意回去而让杰米跟了另一个混蛋！ I refuse to sit back and let Jamie get used by another asshole!
你可以问问啊！洛杉矶男人真冲动 You could've asked! L.A. guys are so dramatic.
-对不起！ -好吧 -I'm sorry! -Okay.
哦我的天 -♪Christmas, Christmas.♪ -♪Christmas, Christmas.♪ -Oh my God.
下了好大一场雪，你不会看见这些了 You know, one good snowfall and you won't see any of this.
♪雪橇铃声响起，叮当响♪ ♪Where sleigh bells ringing and go jingle-ling♪
♪传播圣诞快乐♪ ♪Spreading Christmas cheer.♪
嗨，帕拉米诺先生，你好吗？ Hi, Mr.Palamino. How are you?
还来毁我的房子吗，啊？ Come to destroy the rest of the house, huh?
听着，对于昨天的事我真的很抱歉 Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday.
-吼-吼-吼 -还有那个 -Ho-ho-ho -And that.
听着，我知道你恨我，但我要和杰米谈谈，她在哪里？ Look, I know you hate me, but I need to speak with Jamie. Where is she?
-她和李先生出去了 -干洗店的？ -She's gone off with Mr.Lee -Dry cleaner?
-不是，是达斯丁，笨蛋 -他们去哪了？ -No. Dusty, you jackass -Where are they?
-♪我一直在铁路上工作♪ 不，克里斯！这边 -♪I've been workin' on the railroad.♪ -No, Chris! This way.
♪所有漫长的日子♪ ♪All the livelong day♪
♪我一直在铁路上工作♪ ♪I've been workin' on the railroad♪
♪只是为了打发时间♪ ♪Just to pass the time away♪
♪你听不到汽笛声吗？ ♪Can't you hear the whistle blowing?
♪一大早起来♪ ♪Rise so early in the morn'♪
丁克曼！ -Dinkleman! -♪Can't you hear the captain shouting?♪
-克里斯，你来这干嘛？ -我要跟你谈谈 -Chris, what're you doing here? -I need to talk to you.
达斯丁！ Dusty!
耶！ Yes!
-我真的需要跟你谈谈！ -下一首 -I really need to speak with you! -This next number
是给你们最喜欢的老师还有我 -is for your favorite teacher and mine -Let's go.
她让我们欢聚于这样美妙的音乐会 She put this wonderful concert together for all of us.
让我们给杰米·帕拉米诺小姐最热烈的掌声 Give a big round of applause to Miss Jamie Palamino.
♪当杰米微笑时♪ ♪When Jamie smiles♪
♪它需要我英里♪ ♪It takes me miles♪
♪从我那里——♪ ♪From where I've--♪
天哪，我还是不能相信他给我写了那首歌 God, I still can't believe he wrote me that song.
我相信，他在高中就写了那首歌，记得吗？ Oh I can. He's been working on that song since high school, remember?
就像国歌一样 It's like the stalker's national anthem.
更别说我今天已经听过这首歌了 Not to mention I already heard that song today,
只不过改成珍妮丝的眼睛让他微笑 only it was Janice's eyes that made him smile.
-珍妮丝？谁是珍妮丝？ -一个有大波的护士 -Janice? Who's Janice? -A nurse with really big boobs
在医院工作，我看见他今晚早些时候亲过的女孩 that works at the medical center. A girl I saw him kissing earlier tonight.
达斯丁是个好演员，杰米！ Dusty's a Jersey player, Jamie!
他是为了报复你 He's out for revenge on you
为了高中只把他当作朋友 for putting him in the friend zone in high school.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
他在寻找机会发泄！ The guy's looking for the anger bang!
真逗！这是他说你的啊 Amazing! That's exactly what he said about you.
-你没看出来怎么回事吗？ -哦，我不知道 -Don't you see what's happening here? -Oh, I don't know.
那个家伙赢了我，就是这样 The guy's just out-playing me, that's all.
哦，那是你！他赢了你！ Oh, it's about you! Now he's out-playing you!
-那我呢-我是什么，游戏？ -不！ -W-what am l, a game? -No!
你们愿意参加我们的合唱 Would you guys like to join us in a carol
-来庆祝我们主的诞生？ -不！ -to celebrate the birth of our Lord? -No!
我的天，别！达斯丁！不要！ My God, don't! Dusty! Don't!
-丁克曼！ -你什么毛病？ -Dinkleman! -What is the matter with you?
这是孩子们的圣诞音乐会！ This is a Christmas concert for children!
-你个骗子！ -笨蛋不是你男朋友吧，是不是？ -You liar! -Suckster's not your boyfriend, is he?
-不，他不是！ -因为我们喜欢达斯丁 -No, he's not! -'Cause we like Dusty.
达斯丁！达斯丁！达斯丁！达斯丁！ Dusty! Dusty! Dusty! Dusty!
-啊！ -达斯丁！达斯丁！达斯丁！ -Ugh! -Dusty! Dusty! Dusty.!
哦！ Oooh!
我不能动了！我不能动了！ I'm being framed! I'm being framed!
-达斯丁！ -丁克曼！ -Dusty! -Dinkleman!
伙计，你回到镇上真是丢人啊！ Man, when you come back to town, you come back to town!
啊？啊？听着，别担心 Huh? Huh? Look, don't sweat it.
我-我-我们今晚去红枫 W-w-we'll go to The Maple tonight
你可以向杰米道歉 You can apologize to Jamie
一切都会 很好 and everything will be just-- just peachy.
好了，嗯，谢谢，克莱克，谢谢你做的一切 Okay, yep, good. Thanks, Clark, for everything.
10年以后再见，最好不要 See you in another 10 years. Guess not.
你和杰米昨晚如何了？你上她了？ How'd it go with Jamie last night? You boink her?
没有 That would be a no.
如果你的兄弟是同性恋的请举手！ Raise you hand if your brother's a homo!
好，保持联络！ All right. Keep in touch!
你相信吗？没有出租车，没有一辆 You believe that? Not one taxi, not one.
该死的小镇，我得坐公交车！ Stupid town. I gotta take the bus!
兄弟，公交车不好！ Dude, bus sucks!
对！我要离开了！ Yes! I am outta here!
再见，该死的小镇！去你的！ So long, Sucktown! Kiss my ass!
嘿，公交司机先生 Hey, Mr.Bus Driver Man.
嘿 Hey.
让我放个屁，快点，放个屁 pull my finger. Come on, pull my finger.
-啊！ -哟-吼！ -Aw! -Yoo-hoo!
-太好了 -杰米！ -Great -Jamie!
-哦，小姐，小姐，喔-喔-喔哦 -干嘛？干嘛，干嘛，干 -Whoa, miss, miss. W-w-whoa -What? What, what, wha--
-什么，克里斯？你想要什么？ -我只是要道歉 -what, Chris? What do you want? -I just want to apologize.
对不起，我发神经，好吗？ I'm sorry. I was out of line, okay?
-你是个混蛋 -哦，我的 我曾 -You're an asshole -Oh, my--I was--
嘿，我给你找辆出租车送你回家吧，啊？ Hey, I'm gonna get you a cab and take you home, huh?
-她真是敏感！ -你完了，我赢了 -She's so sensitive! -You blew it. I'm winning.
-你是恶魔 -那就去吧，睡一觉 -You're the Devil -So go ahead, just go sleep it off.
明天早上就好了 You'll be right as rain in the morning, brother.
克里斯，你喝醉了！回家去！ Chris, you're drunk! Go home!
我没喝醉，这是什么？ I'm not drunk. What's this?
哦，“简单的达斯丁” Ooh. "Simply Dusty"
还有别的样子吗？真可爱 Is there any other kind? That's adorable.
你知道什么也可爱吗？你们两个 Do you know what else is adorable? You two.
嘿！别把达斯丁扯进来，好吗？ Hey! Stop bringing Dusty into your problems, okay?
达斯丁和我很好 Dusty and I are fine.
-达斯丁和我是朋友 -对！ -Dusty and I are friends -Right!
-不要太久，我希望 -对 -Not for too long, I hope -Yeah--
等等，什么？ Wait, what?
慢点，你刚才说什么？ Slow down. What did you just say?
杰米，听着，我要跟你说 Jamie, listen, I've been meaning to talk to you.
我 关于我们的关系 I--about our relationship.
或许我们可以更进一步什么的？ Maybe we could take the next step or something?
达斯丁，我能对你说实话吗？ Dusty, can I be honest with you?
-我觉得你人真的很好 -谢谢 -I think you're a really nice guy -Thank you.
我觉得你风趣幽默、风度翩翩而且体贴入微 I think you're funny and charming and sweet,
但我就是对你没感觉 and I just don't have those feelings for you.
-你开玩笑 -不 -You're kidding -No.
喔！ Whew!
好吧，因为 因我给你写了那首歌，还有一切 Okay, 'cause--cause I wrote you that song and everything,
你知道，我真的很投入 you know, and I worked really hard on it
你是什么类型的女孩，如果你对写歌给你的男孩 and what kind of girl would you be if you didn't put out for the guy that wrote
-都不动心，你知道什么意思？ -嗯？ -you that song, you know what mean? -Huh?
算了，我走了 F-this. I'm mobile.
啊哈！ Ah-ha!
我会想他的！ I'm gonna miss him!
-哦！ -噢！ -Oh! -Ow!
-干嘛？嗯 -呃！ -What? Heh -Eh!
放开我，克里斯！你来干什么？ Get off me, Chris! Why are you here?
为什么把我搅得一团乱？ Why do you keep messing with my head?
我让你乱了三天 I messed with your head for three days.
你却从六年级就开始折磨我了！ You've been torturing me since the sixth grade!
就因为这个？ So that's what this is about?
因为我在高中不和你好？你行了吧！ Because I wouldn't screw you in high school? Get over yourself!
哦，多年以来你一直是个大笑话 Oh, after years of you being the biggest tease,
相信我，我已经不再是原来的我 trust me, I'm so over myself.
哦，所以现在我是个大笑话 Oh, so now I'm the tease.
我几乎把我自己给你 I practically throw myself at you
而那一晚你却什么都没做！ the other night and you did nothing!
你知道是什么感觉了 And now you know how it feels.
我要走了 I'm outta here.
对，走吧，就像以前一样走吧！ Yeah, there you go. Just walk away like you always do!
哦，不不不，我 我不走 Oh, no no no. I'm-I'm not walking away.
我要回到我在洛杉矶的美好生活里！ I'm running back to my great life in L.A.!
-好，那么，开心点 -哦，你也开心 -Great. Well, have fun -Oh, you have fun.
高中的校花 being the girl who peaked in high school.
-噢！ -你像个啦啦队长 -Ooohh! -You slap like a cheerleader.
再见，克里斯 Bye, Chris.
别回来！ And stay out!
我一直想说这个 I've always wanted to say that.
你怎么进来的？ How did you get in here?
我的保镖让我进来的 My bodyguard let me in.
我在做饼干 I was making cookies.
哦，我想贤惠点 Oh, I was trying to be all domesticated
就像你背着我胡搞的荡妇 like that skank you were banging behind my back.
请别理我 Please leave me alone.
不，嘘-嘘-嘘-嘘！ No, sh-sh-sh-sh!
抱抱亲亲！ Hugs and kisses!
没事了，宝贝，没事了 It's all good, baby, it's all good.
故意让我嫉妒，你激发了我写好歌的灵感 By making me jealous on purpose you inspire me to write the best songs,
充满了痛苦和憎恨！ you know, full of angst and hate!
你喜欢的，你和我一定会 You like that. You and I are gonna be
成为最棒的音乐经理人组合 the greatest musical manager team
自杰西卡·辛普森和她爸爸之后 since Jessica Simpson and her father.
只有我们可以“喵喵”，他们不行 only we get to "mreow" and they can't,
因为是非法的，我查过了 'cause it's illegal. I looked it up.
这是新版的“宽恕” This is the new and improved "Forgiveness."
♪原谅我♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
♪不仅仅是说对不起♪ ♪Is more than sayin' sorry♪
你很抱歉？哈哈！ Are you sorry? Ha ha!
♪原谅我♪ ♪Forgiveness.♪
-不 -不？ -No -No?
-没有 -但我宽恕你了！ -No more -But I've forgiven you!
-就像歌中唱的 -嘘-嘘-嘘-嘘-嘘-嘘 -It's just like the song---Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh--
这和你无关 This isn't about you.
没关系，你可以有别的女人，我喜欢女人 It's cool, you can have other girls. I like girls.
达拉！ Darla!
我不要别的女人 I don't want other girls.
我只要一个 I want one girl.
-不是你 -哼 -That's not you -Hmph.
听着，我会打 Look. I'll call--
哦 Ouch.
-为什么你不喜欢我？ -有点难以回答 -Why don't you like me? -It's a little hard to answer
我身上还有泰瑟枪！ with a taser in my balls!
跟那个荡妇有关，是不是？ This is about Santa's little whore, isn't it?
噢对，来吧 Ooh yeah, it's go time.
嘿，嘿，嘿！不！ Hey, hey, hey! It's not go time!
这没用，萨曼沙 This isn't how it works, Samantha.
你不能强迫或者-或者折磨别人要他喜欢你 You can't force or-or torture someone into liking you.
哦，说得好 Ooh, the big speech.
不！你只需要做你自己 No! You just have to put yourself out there
然后希望他们喜欢你 and hope that they like you back.
这不是游戏！这是我的生活！ This isn't a game! This is my life!
哦，对，那么，这是我的生活！ Oh, yeah, well, this is my life!
好吗？对不起 Okay? I'm sorry.
我不是最烦的那个人！ I'm not the most boring person ever!
好吗？对不起，我不是那么讨厌！ Okay? I'm sorry I'm not poor!
对不起 I'm sorry--
对不起我没有大屁股！ I'm sorry I don't have a fat ass!
对不起我没 你去哪里？ I'm sorry I'm not-- where're you going?
♪错过了回家的末班车♪ ♪Missed the last train home♪
♪鸟儿经过告诉我，我并不孤单♪ ♪Birds pass by to tell me that I'm not alone♪
♪好吧，我正在逼迫自己完成这部分.♪ ♪Well, I'm pushing myself to finish this part.♪
嘿！嘿，她在哪？ Hey! Hey, where is she?
♪我经常走这条路♪ ♪I handle a lot walking on this♪
♪它在你眼里，睁开你的眼睛♪ ♪It's in your eyes, open your eyes♪
♪睁眼睁眼♪ ♪Open eyes, open your eyes♪
♪张开你的眼睛♪ ♪Open your eyes♪
♪张开你的眼睛。♪ ♪Open your eyes.♪
嗨 Hi.
杰米，听着，杰米！ Jamie. Look, Jamie!
我那天晚上说了很多胡话 I said a lot of really crappy things the other night
真的很抱歉 and I'm sorry about that.
我也不是个好朋友，对不起，好吗？ I haven't been a very good friend to you and I'm sorry, okay?
我只是 事实是，我 我害怕做你的朋友 I just--the truth is I'm-I'm afraid to be your friend
因为我想更进一步 'cause I'm always gonna want more.
然后我又想-想 But then I got to thinking that-that
我宁愿你是朋友也比什么都不是好 I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all.
你知道吗？这也是谎话 You know what? That's a lie too.
你回来干什么？ Why are you back here?
因为我想约你 Because I want to take you on a date.
我不介意是白天还是晚上 And I don't care if it's in the day or at night
或者什么时候，只要是真正的约会 or whenever, as long as it's a real date.
我要告诉你，我觉得你有多漂亮，心地有多善良 And I want to tell you how beautiful I think you are inside and out.
我想和你生小孩子 And I want to have babies with you
我想娶你，我爱你 and I want to marry you and I love you.
杰米，我一直想 Jamie, I always have.
嗯，哦！ Mmm. Ow!
抱歉，呃 Sorry. Just, uh.
20年的爆发！ 20 years all at once!
不敢相信！ Unbelievable!
笨蛋和帕拉米诺小姐约会了！ Suckster's making out with Mrs. P!
她怎么想的？ What is she thinking?
-嘿，萨拉，你想要我最后一块饼干吗？ -哦，谢谢，布雷特！ -Hey, Sarah, do you want my last cookie? -Oh, thanks, Brett!
嘿，乔伊，你想要点饼干吗？ Hey, Joey, do you want some of my cookie?
别介意 Don't mind if I do.
-你真是个好朋友，布雷特 -最好的！ -You're such a good friend, Brett -The bestest!
啊 Ahh.
噢，该死！ Oh, shit!
♪我发誓♪ ♪I swear♪
♪月亮和星星♪ ♪By the moon and the stars♪
♪在天空♪ ♪In the skies♪
♪我会在那里♪ ♪I'll be there♪
♪我发誓♪ ♪And I swear♪
♪喜欢影子♪ ♪Like the shadow♪
♪就在你身边♪ ♪That's by your side♪
♪我会在那里♪ ♪I'll be there♪
♪无论好坏♪ ♪For better or worse♪
♪直到死亡把我们分开♪ ♪Till death do us part♪
♪我会用我每一次心跳来爱你♪ ♪I'll love you with every beat of my heart♪
♪我发誓♪ ♪And I swear♪
♪哦-hh♪ ♪Oh-hh♪
♪哈哈哈♪ ♪Hahh-aah.♪
♪我会给你一切♪ ♪I'll give you everything♪
♪我可以♪ ♪I can♪
♪我会成就你的梦想♪ ♪I'll build your dreams♪
♪用这两只手♪ ♪With these two hands♪
♪我们会挂上一些回忆♪ ♪We'll hang some memories♪
♪在墙上♪ ♪On the walls♪
-♪什么时候♪ -♪什么时候♪ -♪And when♪ -♪And when♪
♪就我们两个人♪ ♪Just the two of us are there♪
♪你不必问♪ ♪You won't have to ask♪
♪如果我还在乎♪ ♪If I still care♪
♪因为时间翻页♪ ♪'Cause as the time turns the page♪
♪我的爱永远不会老♪ ♪My love won't age at all♪
-♪我发誓♪ -♪我发誓♪ -♪And I swear♪ -♪And I swear♪
♪月亮和星星♪ ♪By the moon and the stars♪
♪在天空♪ ♪In the skies♪
-♪我会在那里♪ -♪我会在那里♪ -♪I'll be there♪ -♪I'll be there♪
-♪我发誓♪ -♪我发誓♪ -♪And I swear♪ -♪And I swear♪
♪喜欢你身边的影子♪ ♪Like the shadow that's by your side♪
-♪我会在那里♪ -♪我会在那里♪ -♪I'll be there♪ -♪I'll be there♪
♪无论好坏♪ ♪For better or worse♪
♪直到死亡把我们分开♪ ♪Till death do us part♪
♪我会用我每一次心跳来爱你♪ ♪I'll love you with every beat of my heart♪
-♪And I swear♪ -♪Oh, yeah♪ -♪And I swear♪ -♪Oh, yeah♪
♪我发誓♪ ♪And I swear♪
♪月亮和星星♪ ♪By the moon and the stars♪
♪在天空♪ ♪In the skies♪
-♪我会在那里♪ -♪我会在那里♪ -♪I'll be there♪ -♪I'll be there♪
♪我发誓♪ ♪And I swear♪
♪喜欢影子♪ ♪Like the shadow♪
-♪就在你身边♪ -♪就在你身边♪ -♪That's by your side♪ -♪That's by your side♪
-♪我会在那里♪ -♪我会在那里♪ -♪I'll be there♪ -♪I'll be there♪
-♪无论好坏♪ -♪无论好坏♪ -♪For better or worse♪ -♪Better or worse♪
-♪Till death do us part♪ -♪Oh no♪ -♪Till death do us part♪ -♪Oh no♪
♪我会用我每一次心跳来爱你♪ ♪I'll love you with every beat of my heart♪
♪我发誓♪ ♪And I swear♪
♪我发誓♪ ♪I swear♪
♪哦，哇，我♪ ♪Oh, whoa, I.♪
♪发誓。♪ ♪Swear.♪
麦克风！ Mike!
♪饶恕♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
♪不仅仅是说对不起♪ ♪Is more than saying sorry♪
♪对不起对不起对不起♪ ♪Sorry sorry sorry♪
♪饶恕♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
♪意味着接受人的缺点♪ ♪Means accepting people's flaws♪
♪瑕疵瑕疵瑕疵♪ ♪Flaws flaws flaws♪
♪宽恕是神圣的♪ ♪To forgive is divine♪
♪那么让我们来一杯红酒吧♪ ♪So let's have a glass of wine♪
♪和化妆做爱♪ ♪And have makeup sex♪
♪直到♪结束 ♪Until the end of♪
♪时间♪ ♪Time♪
♪饶恕♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
♪不代表妥协♪ ♪Does not mean compromising♪
♪让我们原谅并忘记♪ ♪Let's forgive and forget♪
♪并解决这个非洲债务♪ ♪And solve this African debt♪
♪就像柴郡猫一样♪ ♪Just like the Cheshire Cat♪
♪谁说，“喵！你没时间了！”♪ ♪Who says, "Mreow! You're running out of time!"♪
♪时间时间时间时间时间，wreeow！♪ ♪Time time time time time, wreeow!♪
♪饶恕♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
你对我来说永远是胖子，克里斯！ You'll always be fat to me, Chris!
♪饶恕♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
他妈的！ 来吧，尘土飞扬。 God damn it! Come on, Dusty.
♪饶恕♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
不开心！ Not happy!
♪饶恕♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
你好，乔伊斯？ 乔伊斯？ Hello, Joyce? Joyce?
我的天啊！ Oh my God!
耶稣说：“父啊，赦免他们 Then said Jesus, "Father, forgive them
因为他们不知道自己在做什么。” for they know not what they do."
如果你没有原谅自己的事情，你怎么能原谅别人？ If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?
我不会道歉的。 I won't apologize.
我不原谅你。 I don't forgive you.
你可以原谅，但你不能忘记。 You can forgive, but you can't forget.
你在哪里？ Where are you?
♪饶恕♪ ♪Forgiveness♪
时间时间时间时间 Time time time time
时间时间时间时间。 time time time time.